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100 Foghorn Leghorn Quotes That’ll Get You Cackling

2. “Gal reminds me of the highway between Forth Worth and Dallas—no curves.”

3. “Pay attention to me boy! I’m not just talkin’ to hear my head roar.”

4. “This boy’s more mixed up than a feather in a whirlwind.”

5. “Now who’s, I say, who’s responsible for this unwarranted attack on my person.”

6. “He’s about as sharp as a bowling ball.”

7. “You’re way off, I say, you’re way off this time, son!”

8. “His muscles are as soggy as a used teabag.”

9. “That’s what I’ve been, I say, that’s what I’ve been telling you, boy! I am a chicken!”

10. “Some days, it don’t pay to get outta bed!”

11. “Go, I say go away boy, you bother me.”

12. “Nice boy, but he’s got more nerve than a bum tooth.”

13. “Looks like the boy genius is tryin’ to show me up.”

14. “That’s a joke son, I say, that’s a joke.”

15. “Kid don’t quit talkin’ so much he’ll get his tongue sunburned.”

16. “I made a funny son and you’re not laughin’!”

17. “I say, boy, pay attention when I’m talkin’ to ya, boy.”

18. “Hmmm, baer, I say, baer as a cooch dancer’s midriff.”

19. “Stop, I say, stop it boy, you’re doin’ a lot of choppin’ but no chips are flyin’.”

20. “Now, what, I say, what’s the big idea bashin’ me on the noggin’ with a rollin’ pin!”

21. “What’s, I say what’s the big idea wrappin’ a lariat around my Adam’s apple.”

22. “I got, I say, I got this boy as fidgety as a bubble dancer with a slow leak.”

23. “What in the, I say, what in the name of Jesse James do you suppose that is?”

24. “That, I say, that boy’s just like a tattoo, gets under your skin.”

25. “Don’t, I say don’t bother me, dog, can’t ya see I’m thinkin’.”

26. “You know there might, I say, there just might be a market for bottled duck.”

27. “That dog, I say that dog is lower than a snake full of buckshot.”

28. “It’s sure, I say it’s sure quiet around here, you could hear a caterpillar sneakin’ across a moss bed in tennis shoes.”

29. “Now, what, I say, what’s the big idea bashin’ me in the bazooka that-a-way boy!”

30. “For I say fortunately I always carry a spare set of feathers.”

31. “Smart boy got a mind like a steel trap—full of mice.”

32. “Clunk enough people and we’ll have a nation of lump heads.”

33. “Pay attention, boy, I’m cutting but you ain’t bleeding!”

34. “This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!”

35. “Son! O, my little son! Be a nicely mannered kid, but don’t be dumb soul on the other side.”

36. “That woman’s as cold as a nudist on an iceberg.”

37. “That’s the trouble with that fool dog, always shootin’ his mouth off.”

38. “Now, that, I say, that’s no way for a kid to be wastin’ his time, readin’ that long-haired gobbledygook.”

39. “The snow, I say, the snow’s so deep the farmers have to jack up the cows so they can milk’em.”

40. “That dog, I say that dogs strictly GI, gibberin’ idiot that is.”

41. “That boy’s making more noise than a couple of skeletons throwin’ a fit on a tin roof!”

42. “Hey boy, what’s the idea jackin’ that pot up under me? Jack? Pot? Ah huh, huh—jackpot, that’s a joke son, don’t ya get it?”

43. “Boy’s gotta mouth like a cannon, always shootin’ it off.”

44. “Oh, that woman got a mouth like an outboard motor.”

45. “She remi—I say, she reminds me of Paul Revere’s ride, a little light in the belfry.”

46. “Love that dog, love that dog.”

47. “That, I say, that dog’s busier than a centipede at a toe countin’ contest.”

48. “This is a dog, not a chicken. Chicken’s don’t look like dogs.”

49. “Say, boy, wouldn’t you, I say, wouldn’t you rather have some delicious dog soup?”

50. “That dog’s like taxes, he just don’t know when to stop.”

51. “Now, I wonder what ol’ busy body widow hen is up to.”

52. “Fortunately, I keep my feathers numbered, for, for just such an emergency.”

53. “What a day for trampin’ through the woods—lump dum do di do do doh, doo dah, doo dah.”

54. “Now, cut that out boy, or I’ll spank you where the feathers are thinnest.”

55. “Who told you this was a chicken, son? Nice boy, but doesn’t listen to a thing you say. You got a bum steer, son. I’m a chicken, not a schnook. You’re wrong, son.”

56. “If I’m a roo—Ah say—if I’m a rooster, I hope to be struck by lightning! Uh kapow! Well, let’s put it another way. ‘Way’ that is.’”

57. “As senior rooster ’round here, it’s my duty, and my pleasure, to instruct junior roosters in the ancient art of roostery.”

58. “Well, in that case—adios, you chicken-plucking little stinker!”

59. “You see, Henery, your mother and I are outcasts. Hated and hunted because of what we are—chicken hawks. And you—you, Henery—you’re a chicken hawk too. And like all chicken hawks, you crave to eat—a chicken.”

60. “That boy’s as strong as an ox, and just about as smart.”

61. “Boy! I say, boy! Always listen to your elders and obey them!”

62. “Hey you little boy! Make your smart enough to face this world.”

63. “Boy! O, boy! Keep your extra set of feathers, always with you, for contingencies.”

64. “Look, here son! I say, little son! Stay humble and always help others.”

65. “Boy! I say, my boy! Think before you utter something wrong in front of the others and hurt them with your words!”

66. “Boy! I say, boy! Stay optimistic and wise rather that being dumb!”

67. “Hey little chick! Do not give up once if you fall down! Get up and face the challenges and keep trying until you succeed.”

68. “Hey son! I say, son! Don’t be slow, that the fast ones go over your head!”

69. “Boy! I say listen my dear boy! Don’t take what others say in the negative manner, be positive and spread positivity around you!”

70. “Boy I say, boy! Never feel weak, because your father is next beside you!”

71. “Boy! I say, boy! If you don’t laugh, like I do, then you should look yourself into a mirror and cheer up!”

72. “There’s something a little yeeeee about a boy that doesn’t like baseball.”

73. “Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.”

74. “I—I know what you’re gonna say, son. When two halves are gone there’s nuthin’ left, and you’re right. It’s a little ol’ worm who wasn’t there. Two nuthin’s is nuthin’. That’s mathematics son. You can argue with me but you can’t argue with the figures. Two half nuthin’s is a whole nuthin’.”

75. “Now what, I say now what’s that skinny old hen doin’ up on the barn.”

76. “When the little woman comes home and finds the egg gone, woo! What she will do to me.”

77. “Any of this getting through that little old bluebonnet of yours.”

78. “That boy’s as timid as a canary at a cat show.”

79. “What’s it all about boy, elucidate!”

80. “That kid’s about as sharp as a pound of wet liver.”

81. “Hey, whatcha making there boy? Looks like sodi-pop. Hyuk yuk! Watch it fizz!!”

82. “Speakin’ of figures, I put two n’ two together and come up with a four-legged smart-aleck mutt!”

83. “The screwball in the back pocket!”

84. “Boy, I say, boy, pay close attention to me, ’cause you’re a burrito short of a combination plate.”

85. “Looks like our fine feathered friend is heading into Venician territory—of Venice, Italy, that is.”

86. “Looka here son, I say, son, did you see that hawk after those hens? He scared them, that Rhode Island Red turned White then Blue. Rhode Island. Red, White, and Blue—that’s a joke son. A flag-waver. You’re built too low. Fast ones go over your head.”

87. “Looky here, son, I’m no loud-mouthed schnook.”

88. “Let me guess, dearie. You’re looking for a husband.”

89. “Hey son! Listen to me and don’t be like a dead horse, that if it is beaten, it can’t get up and go!”

90. “Now let me know when I come to something that interests you.”

91. “You got a hole in your glub. I keep pitching them and you keep missing them. You gotta keep your eye on the ball. Eye. Ball. Eyeball.”

92. “Scared—who me—course I’m not squared.”

93. “Course you know this means war.”

94. “Now looka, I say, looka here.”

95. “Well, you’re going about it the wrong way, sister. You don’t bat ’em on the bean with a rolling pin. That comes later.”

96. “Put that egghead book down, boy.”

97. “You just know I’m gonna do something about this.”

98. “What’s all the whoopin’ and hollerin’ about, boy.”

99. “Fortunately, I always keep a spare in my locker.”

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