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50 Old Gregg Quotes on How Life Is Like Living in a Cave

1. “I like you. What do you think of me?” – Old Gregg 

2. “Maybe I should ask you the same question—what you doing in my waters?” – Old Gregg 

3. “Gregg’s place. You’ve been asleep. Do you want a little drinky? I’ll get you a drink. You like Bailey’s? Mmmm—creamy. Soft, creamy beige.” – Old Gregg 

4. “It’s attached to your rod, mother licker!” – Old Gregg 

5. “Thank you, sir. I got some more. I got these too. That one’s Bailey’s a bit bigger. And that one’s as close as you can get to Bailey’s without your eyes getting wet.” – Old Gregg 

6. “Easy now, fuzzy little man-peach, hmm? You ever drunk Bailey’s from a shoe?” – Old Gregg 

7. “I’m Old Gregg. Pleased to meet you.” – Old Gregg 

8. “Wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?” – Old Gregg 

9. “Why are you going? We got everything we need here. We got Bailey’s cream. And everything we need. I’ll get you another Bailey’s.” – Old Gregg 

10. “Come on, don’t make me beg now, ‘cause I’m not your regular guy! Don’t be shy! Do you love me?” – Old Gregg 

11. “Don’t lie to me, boy.” – Old Gregg 

12. “I know what you’re thinking, ‘Here comes Old Gregg. He’s a scaly man-fish.’ You don’t know me. You don’t know what I got. I got something to show you. You know what that is? That’s Old Gregg’s v*g*n*. I’ve got a mangina! I’m Old Gregg!” – Old Gregg 

13. “We could do some watercolors together, you and I.” – Old Gregg 

14. “Do you like Old Gregg’s place? I’ve got all things that are good.” – Old Gregg 

15. “I’ve got this. This is good.” – Old Gregg 

16. “Maybe I’ll deal with it the way I dealt with Curly Jefferson.” – Old Gregg 

17. “Then he realized it was a funky ball of t*ts from outer space!” – Old Gregg 

18. “You’re like a breadstick, ya got no rhythm!” – Old Gregg 

19. “It’s about the size of a medicine ball, but covered in t*ts.” – Old Gregg 

20. “I took Home Economics, I got an A+. I did a crumble. Teacher said mine was the best one.” – Old Gregg 

21. “You know me, hmm? What about the boat times?” – Old Gregg 

22. “I’m gonna hurt you.” – Old Gregg 

23. “That was our first date, hmm? You pulled me up with your strong arms!” – Old Gregg 

24. “I do watercolors.” – Old Gregg 

25. “Then how come this hook’s in my head, fool?” – Old Gregg 

26. “Let me show you something. I call that one Old Gregg. And then that one I call Old Gregg. And this one, you know what I call that one?” – Old Gregg 

27. “Oh, you know me. You’ve seen my downstairs mix-up.” – Old Gregg 

28. “Some say Old Gregg is like a big fish finger. But big, like, as in a garage. Imagine a fish finger as big as a garage!” – Old Gregg 

29. “Do you love me? Are you playin’ your love games with me? I just want to know what to do, because I need your love a lot. Oh, come on now.” – Old Gregg 

30. “Make an assessment.” – Old Gregg 

31. “Could you learn to love me?” – Old Gregg 

32. “What did it mean to you to see that? Did it mean you love me?” – Old Gregg 

33. “You think you could ever love me?” – Old Gregg 

34. “You love me, and you’ve seen me, and you know me. I’m Old Gregg!” – Old Gregg 

35. “You must love me exactly as I love you.” – Old Gregg 

36. “Who are you?” – Howard Moon

37. “You do love me.” – Old Gregg 

38. “Don’t kill me. I’ve got so much to give.” – Howard Moon

39. “Why can’t we do it now?” – Old Gregg

40. “You’ve done some nice things with it.” – Howard Moon

41. “What do you mean?” – Old Gregg

42. “Mmm, that is quite a portfolio you’ve got going on there. But I really should be heading off, so it’s been good.” – Howard Moon

43. “Well, you know, I’m a busy man, Gregg. You know, I got things to do. Howard Moon—man about town.” – Howard Moon

44. “Umm, gonna have to pretend I didn’t hear that, Gregg.” – Howard Moon

45. “Well, you get to know someone, you hang out, you see where that goes. This, that, the other, eventually—you know. I don’t know you!” – Howard Moon

46. “How does it work? Tell me how it works.” – Old Gregg

47. “Just taking the air, you know. Not fishing!” – Howard Moon

48. “Yes, sir.” – Old Gregg

49. “Well, is this the way out? Uhm, I better be scootin’. Got meetings and a friend of mine is waiting, so perhaps I should be—.” – Howard Moon

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