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230 Cow Quotes on Dairy, Farming, and Patience

1. “There’s nothing like sitting back and talking to your cows.” – Russell Crowe

2. “Even a cow creates ambiguous signifiers. The moo of mystery.” – Mason Cooley

3. “To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They will be your friends forever.” – Bill Bryson

4. “I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows until you come home.” – Groucho Marx

5. “Cows are gentle, interesting animals.” – Ingrid Newkirk

6. “It doesn’t matter how much milk you spill as long as you don’t lose the cow.” – Harvey Mackay

7. “My cow is not pretty, but it is pretty to me.” – David Lynch

8. “Cows are amongst the gentlest of breathing creatures.” – Thomas de Quincey

9. “Cows are my passion—to retreat to a Swiss farm, and live entirely surrounded by cows, and china.” – Charles Dickens

10. “I have found you and fallen into such a blunder. I suppose he has confounded the cow with the deer.” – James Boswell

11. “Buffon tells us that the cow sheds her horns every two years; a most palpable error.” – James Boswell

12. “Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. In fact, a moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.” – Bill Bryson

13. “Sacred cows make the best hamburger.” – Mark Twain

14. “A branding program should be designed to differentiate your cow from all the other cattle on the range.” – Al Ries

15. “He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.” – Benjamin Franklin

16. “You can only milk a cow so long, then you’re left holding the pail.” –

17. “The human body has no more need for cows’ milk than it does for dogs’ milk, horses’ milk, or giraffes’ milk.” – Michael Klaper

18. “The cow is of the bovine ilk—one end is moo, the other, milk.” –

19. “As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.” – Joan Dye Gussow

20. “Moo may represent an idea, but only the cow knows.” – Mason Cooley

21. “Cease, cows, life is short.” – Gabriela Garcia Marquez

22. “Anybody who plays the stock market not as an insider is like a man buying cows in the moonlight.” – Daniel Drew

23. “The cow parasite is probably how non-man defines man in his zoology books.” – Stanislaw Lem

24. “I have a history of saving animals. I started years ago with a cow.” – Peter Max

25. “Cow-slaughter and man-slaughter are, in my opinion, two sides of the same coin.” – Mahatma Gandhi

26. “Not every man remembers the name of the cow which supplied him with each drop of milk he has drunk.” – Shmuel Yosef Agnon

27. “Since the cruel killing of cows and other animals have commenced, I have anxiety for the future generation.” – Lala Lajpat Rai

28. “We say the cows laid out Boston. Well, there are worse surveyors.” –

29. “I got mouths to feed, unnecessary beef is more cows to breed.” – GZA

30. “Cows are a lot smarter across the board than bulls.” – Thomas Haden Church

31. “The cow is the purest type of sub-human life.” – Mahatma Gandhi

32. “Farm animals feel pleasure, sadness, excitement. They are far more intelligent than we ever imagined.” –

33. “Cows are the Devil’s handmaidens.” – Linda Howard

34. “Cow protection means protection of the weak, the helpless, the deaf.” – Mahatma Gandhi

35. “Who discovered we could get milk from cows and what did he think he was doing at the time?” – Billy Connolly

36. “Truth, Sir, is a cow that will yield such people no more milk, and so they are gone to milk the bull.” – Samuel Johnson

37. “Keep a cow, and then the milk won’t have to be watered but once.” – John Billings

38. “Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.” – Craig Ferguson

39. “North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?” – Bobby Heenan

40. “A dead cow or lying in a pasture is recognized as carrion. The same sort of a carcass dressed and hung up in a butcher’s stall passes as food.” – John Harvey Kellogg

41. “It was jolly in the country. A cow and to play with and milk warm from the cow.” – Georg Brandes

42. “The cow can be saved only if buffalo-breeding is given up.” – Mahatma Gandhi

43. “Scoops of mint ice cream with chips of chocolate cows.” – Jim Bishop

44. “The friendly cow, all red and white, I love with all my heart; she gives me cream to eat with apple-tart.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

45. “Custard—a detestable substance produced by conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.” – Ambrose Bierce

46. “Pigs, and cows, and chickens, and people are all competing for grain.” – Margaret Mead

47. “Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more.” – Martin Luther

48. “Milk is the only juice in a world of cows.” – Munia Khan

49. “Who will sell the cow, must say the word.” – George Herbert

50. “No longer diverted by other emotions, I work the way a cow grazes.” – Kathe Kollwitz

51. “Home is where my cows are.” – Anonymous

52. “I don’t believe that you have to be a cow to know what milk is.” – Ann Landers

53. “The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.” – John McNulty

54. “Sacred cows make very poor gladiators.” – Nikki Giovanni

55. “The mere brute pleasure of reading—the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing.” – Lord Chesterfield

56. “A publisher who writes is like a cow in a milk bar.” – Arthur Koestler

57. “To give your sheep or cow a large, spacious meadow is the way to control him.” – Shunryu Suzuki

58. “It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.” – Mark Twain

59. “Every species has some distinguishing mark that can tell a man from a beast, or a dog from a cow.” – Mahatma Gandhi

60. “It’s not socially acceptable to be a complete and utter manipulative cow.” – Lena Headey

61. “As a calf follows its mother among a thousand cows, so deeds of a man follow him.” – Chanakya

62. “Cows are one thing. But one man telling another man where he can go in this country is something else.” – Robert Duval

63. “The cow is an exceptionally loving and gentle creature.” – Helen Watson

64. “Mother cow is as useful dead as when she is alive.” – Mahatma Gandhi

65. “Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.” – Will Rogers

66. “All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.” – Grant Wood

67. “I never saw a purple cow; I never hope to see one. I’d rather see than be one.” – Gelett Burgess

68. “I don’t want any vegetables. I paid for the cow to eat them for me.” – Douglas Coupland

69. “I’m a cowboy who never saw a cow.” – Johnny Mercer

70. “If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?” –

71. “I guess cows aren’t into the four food groups, especially when they are two of them.” – Anthony Ward Clark

72. “If I have to, I’ll go and direct theater and talk till the cows come home.” – Ridley Scott

73. “I’ve never met a general yet who could milk a cow.” – Lennart Meri

74. “Don’t have a cow, man.” – Matt Groening

75. “Don’t milk the cow too hard. She will kick you.” – Mason Cooley

76. “The sweet mellifluous milking of the cow.” – Sam Walter Foss

77. “When you see the cows go into McDonalds, you know that their beef burgers are fresh.” – Anthony T. Hicks

78. “Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger.” –

79. “Cow-watching turned out to be a mildly pleasant duty.” – Christian M. Scott

80. “I do believe sometimes discipline is very important. I’m not just lying around like a lazy cow all the time.” – Bjork

81. “If I don’t work, I’ll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn, and getting like a cow.” – Celia Cruz

82. “I can drink tea until the cows come home and I love the atmosphere in tea-shops.” – Zola Budd

83. “I like animals—all animals. I wouldn’t hurt , or a dog, or a chicken, or a cow. And I wouldn’t ask someone else to hurt them for me. That’s why I’m a vegetarian. “– Peter Dinklage

84. “I cannot harness a horse. I am afraid of a cow.” – Lyman Abbott

85. “She always says that facts are like cows. If you look them in the face hard enough, they generally run away.” – Dorothy L. Sayers

86. “I’m not the one to sort of sit and cry over spilt milk. I’m too busy looking for the next cow.” –

87. “Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.” – Winston Churchill

88. “Learning is like a cow of desire. It, like her, yields in all seasons.” – Chanakya

89. “It’s true—every time you kill an elk, you’re saving some cow’s life.” – Edward Abbey

90. “How do we get a pantomime cow on set. Jeez, the rigours of satire.” – Mel Smith

91. “Whoever said, ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ has never had a cow step on her foot.” – Whippoorwill Valley

92. “Life has got a habit of not standing hitched. You got to ride it like you find it. You got to change with it. If a day goes by that doesn’t change some of your old notions for new ones, that is just about like trying to milk a dead cow.” – Woody Gurthie

93. “I was thinking about the cow thing, or something like that.” – Dandi Daley Mackall

94. “I don’t know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there’s a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That’s kind of regrettable.” – Bob Newhart

95. “Just because a cow stands in a field all day doesn’t make it a philosopher.” – Vaseem Khan

96. “If you do not milk the cow fully, it falls sick.” – Lalu Prasad Yadav

97. “The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain.” – Colin Wilson

98. “A mind of the caliber of mine cannot derive its nutrients from cows.” – George Bernarnd Shaw

99. “Seen from a perspective of diversity, we have lost out a cow that serves as a source of sustainable energy.” – Vandana Shiva

100. “It’s no good crying over spilt milk; all we can do is bail up another cow.” – Ben Shifley

101. “A curst cow hath short hornes.” – George Herbert

102. “Every cow in the world, when they do what they do, you’ve got more carbon dioxide.” – John Boehner

103. “Every sacred cow in the business has to do with economics.” – Gena Rowlands

104. “The money in politics is a cash cow for the media.” – Noam Chomsky

105. “I’m a regular dude from Kansas who grew up with pigs and cows.” – Eric Stonestreet

106. “I absolutely adore cows. They’re the most fascinating, gentle, and beautiful animals. Their eyes are so amazing.” – Mary Quant

107. “This country is so urbanized, we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.” – P. J. O’Rourke

108. “Rain or shine, dairy farmers care for their cows 365 days of the year!” – Anonymous

109. “Without my cattle, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty.” – Anonymous

110. “To country people, cows are mild, all the cattle seem to know.” – T.S. Eliot

111. “On the farm, I had chores. I had a calf. We had a herd of cattle in the pasture. We’d go and get me a calf at a cow auction with Amish people, which I would raise. I gave it a bottle every day, in this little coop, like a giant dog coop almost. I’ve always been a big animal person.” – Krysten Ritter

112. “Scrimshaw on cow horns is only common in Australia, and in the Wild West.” – Tom Thompson

113. “If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow.” – William Lyon Phelps

114. “If a cow walked into this room, I’d probably walk out. I could milk it, but my dad never forced me to do a lot of chores like that, mostly because he loved doing it himself.” – Stuart Appleby

115. “Cows make me happy. You, not so much.” – Anonymous

116. “Never a person who doesn’t like cows.” – Anonymous

117. “I will love you till the cows come home.” – Anonymous

118. “When I’m driving and see cows, I will make an announcement to the rest of the car, that there are cows.” – Anonymous

119. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy cows. And that’s pretty much the same thing.” – Anonymous

120. “I do not believe there was a life more attractive than life on a cattle ranch.” – Anonymous

121. “Something in the way she moos attracts me like no udder lover.” – Anonymous

122. “I workout—just kidding, I chase cows.” – Anonymous

123. “Live life like someone left the gate open.” – Anonymous

124. “Forney, if you give a cow chocolate will you get chocolate milk?” – Americus Nation

125. “Irreverence is our only sacred cow.” – Paul Krassner

126. “The cow knows not what her tail is worth till she has lost it.” – George Herbert

127. “Fortune is beastly—it is only suitable for cows and businessmen.” – Irving Stone

128. “Kill me, but spare the cow.” – Lokmanya Tilak

129. “A cow is a very good animal in the field; but we turn her out of a garden.” – Samuel Johnson

130. “If one has one cow, it is always better not to be too familiar with those who have seven.” – Phyllis Bottome

131. “A cow’s heaven is a flower’s idea of hell.” – Oliver Gaspirtz

132. “Man is as much a parasite on the cow as the tapeworm is on man—we have sucked their udders like leeches.” – Stanislaw Lem

133. “I have been heartbroken once and it has affected all my relationships from there on. But now I look at it as an occupational hazard. If you are in the meat market at some point you are gonna get mad cow disease.” – Dominic Monaghan

134. “I’ve always thought the word cow was funny. And cows are sort of tragic figures. Cows blur the line between tragedy and humor.” – Gary Larson

135. “The United States is not just an old cow that gives more milk the more it’s kicked in the flanks.” – Dean Rusk

136. “We are like a cow and a goat, wanting to be friends but wondering if it can ever be.” – Katherine Applegate

137. “If cows and horses had hands and could draw, cows would draw gods that look like cows and horses would draw gods that look like horses.” – Xenophanes

138. “When the land is cultivated entirely by the spade, and no horses are kept, a cow is kept for every three acres of land.” –

139. “Mother cow is in many ways better than the mother who gave us birth.” – Mahatma Gandhi

140. “If you want milk, don’t sit on a stool in the hope that a cow will back up to you.” – Richard Branson

141. “Men are not so much the keepers of herds as herds are the keepers of men.” – Henry David Thoreau

142. “Knowledge is a sacred cow, and my problem will be how we can milk her while keeping clear of her horns.” – Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

143. “It is not an act of kindness to treat animals respectfully. It is an act of justice.” – Tom Reagan

144. “One can quite understand vegetarianism. One can quite understand meat-eating. But it is difficult to understand why a person who is a flesh-eater should object to one kind of flesh, namely cow’s flesh. This is an anomaly which calls for explanation.” – B.R. Ambedkar

145. “The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil’s own satanic herd!” – Rowan Atkinson

146. “Both knife and sword will cause the same pain, both cow and dog will feed the same milk.” – Dr.P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

147. “This was more than just a cow—this was an entire career I was looking at.” – Gary Larson

148. “I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.” – H.K. Mencken

149. “Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it’s doing in the Maritimes.” – Tommy Douglas

150. “The cow’s point of view deserves more literary attention.” – Mason Cooley

151. “Not only do I know how to milk a cow, but I know how to herd a bunch of cows, too, which is a life skill that I think may come in handy someday.” – Martina McBride

152. “We need to respect the fact that cows are herbivores, and that does not mean feeding them corn and chicken manure.” – Joel Salatin

153. “Who was the first guy that looked at a cow and said, ‘I think that I’ll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?’” – Bill Watterson

154. “You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of beans.” – Tom Robbins

155. “As writers, we live life twice, like a cow that eats its food once and then regurgitates it to chew and digest it again. We have a second chance at biting into our experience and examining it. This is our life and it’s not going to last forever.” – Natalie Goldberg

156. “Cows run away from the storm while the buffalo charges toward it, and gets through it quicker. Whenever I’m confronted with a tough challenge, I do not prolong the torment, I become the buffalo.” – Wilma Mankiller

157. “If you are not interested in your own country’s problems, then what difference remains between you and a cow eating grass in a quiet corner unaware of anything around itself!” – Mehmet Murat ildan

158. “The best way to control cows and sheep is to give them a big grazing field.” – Shunryu Suzuki

159. “If the grass seems greener on the other side, chances are it was fertilized with bullshit.” – Unknown

160. “The cow is sacred, and as a result, most Indians do not eat beef.” – Maneet Chauhan

161. “Cow protection is the gift of Hinduism to the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

162. “A household can never appear prosperous without a cow. How auspicious it is to wake up in the morning to the mooing of your own cow!” – Munshi Premchand

163. “Cow’s milk is tonic, its ghee is ambrosia, and its meat is disease.” – Anonymous

164. “Cow is the source of progress and prosperity.” – Mahatma Gandhi

165. “All is not butter that comes from the cow.” – Proverb

166. “Milk the cow, but do not pull off the udder.” – Greek proverb

167. “Go to law for a sheep and lose your cow.” – German Proverb

168. “Science is not a sacred cow. Science is a horse. Don’t worship it. Feed it.” – Aubrey Eben

169. “You don’t miss the cow until the stall is empty.” – Swedish Proverb

170. “Massages are very cheap in Nairobi, so the cow would be comfortable.” – Binyavanga Wainaina

171. “None show more passionate tenderness to their young. I am not ashamed to profess a deep love for these quiet creatures.” – Thomas de Quincey

172. “I can tell a good cowboy by the way he approaches a cow.” – Henry Green

173. “You’re a cow, give me some milk or else go home.” – Bob Dylan

174. “Agriculture is one of the biggest causes of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. Cars? Planes? Trains? Nope. Cow farts.” – Zazie Beetz

175. “Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul—chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” – Anne Tyler

176. “I don’t do impersonations. I can do a wounded ! I can do a really good cow! And because of the amount of time I spent in North Yorkshire, I do a variety of sheep. All of which I will be happy to roll out for you!” – Patrick Stewart

177. “Skinny Cow ice cream and candy—like dancing—brings a little bit of fun to your day.” – Jennifer Grey

178. “For the very best, drink milk from the goat, ricotta from the sheep, and cheese from the cow”. – Sicilian Proverb

179. “Cows forget that they were calves.” – Russian Proverb

180. “Holy cow!” – Harry Caray

181. “Kiss till the cow comes home.” – Francis Beaumont

182. “Holy cow, she was tough as nails, man.” – Paul Orndorff

183. “That sure as fuck ain’t no cow.” – Scott Sigler

184. “The cow to me is a sermon on pity.” – Mahatma Gandhi

185. “Digression and digestion. It’s what we do.” – David Duchovny

186. “Cows scream louder than carrots.” –

187. “Have patience. The grass will be milk soon enough.” – Anonymous

188. “I’d rather kiss a mad cow on the muzzle than a smoker on the mouth.” – Paul Carvel

189. “Total contentment is only for cows.” – Bette Midler

190. “A good cow may have an ill calf.” – Scottish Proverb

191. “A cow that has no tail should not try to chase away flies.” – Guinean proverb

192. “The cow knows the cowherd but not the owner.” – Ethiopian Proverb

193. “Religion is a cow. It gives milk, but it also kicks.” – Gautama Buddha

194. “You master, I master, who milking the cow.” – Turkish Proverb

195. “Building the fence, when the cows are all stolen.” – Thai Proverb

196. “Settling a dispute through the law is like losing a cow for the sake of a cat.” – Chinese Proverb

197. “I own a cow in heaven, but I cannot drink her milk.” – Congolese Proverb

198. “Who wants yogurt in winter must carry a cow in his pocket.” – Turkish Proverb

199. “God does not give horns to a cow that likes to gore.” – Russian Proverb

200. “The old cow forgets that she was once a calf.” – Finnish Proverb

201. “When the mother cow is cropping grass, her young one watches her mouth.” – Nigerian Proverb

202. “A fool looks for dung where the cow never grazed.” – Ethiopian Proverb

203. “Better a goat that can give milk than a cow that cannot.” – Estonian Proverb

204. “A cow is not oppressed by its own hump.” – Swahili Proverb

205. “All cows are black in the dark.” – Hungarian Proverb

206. “Everyone is nice till the cow gets into the garden.” – Irish Proverb

207. “It is difficult to teach a cow to climb a tree.” – Lithuanian Proverb

208. “Milk belongs to the cow, but the bull cow gets the publicity.” – Malaya Proverb

209. “For a cow and a calf, you need a man and a stable boy.” – Sicilian Proverb

210. “Those cows trusted us.” – Mitch Robberts

211. “I’m going down to Cowtown. The cow’s a friend to me.” – They Might Be Giants

212. “Your cow is calling you.” – Dallas

213. “Honey, puppies are cute. These are just cheeseburgers with legs.” – Frank from Two If By Sea

214. “She dragged me across the floor, stopping from time to time only to kick me. I didn’t know our cows, too, could be so inhuman.” – Samuel Beckett

215. “It’s a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. It’s moo.” – Joey Tribbiani

216. “It’s time to boldly go where no cow has gone before.” – Little Bo Peep

217. “The cow hasn’t been born yet that can give birth to the bull that can hurt me!” – Mitch Robbins

218. “We were something slow happening inside the cold brain of a cow.” – Robert Penn 219. Warren

219. “I loved working with Renoir on ‘The Southerner.’ Oh, I loved it! I particularly loved it when he had a scene with a cow going through a garden, and he wanted a little dog to come and bark at it and chase it out.” – Norman Lloyd

220. “Nothing is worse than being alone on the evening of the day when one’s cow has exploded.” – Dean Koontz

221. “Three acres and a cow.” – Jeremy Bentham

222. “Yeah. And if you spin a cow around real fast you’ll get whipped cream.” – Forney Hull

223. “There is something wrong with your cow. I reach under there and I’m pulling, tugging, tugging, pulling, nothing, not a drop.” – Glen Robbins

224. “Hey, I hope you don’t mind. I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one. Then, pow, all at once.” – Roy

225. “The history of agriculture is the history of humans breeding seeds and animals to produce traits we want in our crops and livestock.” – Michael Specter

226. “Butchering your own livestock is not glamorous, especially when some were your four-legged farm friends!” – Brenda Knight

227. “Studying cows, pigs, and chickens can help an actor develop his character.” – James Dean

228. “It had been a long winter full of cows.” – Jane Smiley

229. “A cow out on grass is just an incredible thing to behold. Cows and other ruminants can do things we just can’t do.” – Michael Pollan



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