2. “You probably heard we ain’t in the prisoner-takin’ business; we’re in the killin’ Nazi business. And , business is a-boomin’.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
3. “Nah, I don’t think so. More like chewed out. I’ve been chewed out before.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
4. “Say, ‘Auf Wiedersehen’ to your Nazi balls!” – Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz
5. “My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I’m putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
6. “Each and every man under my command owes me 100 Nazi scalps.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
7. “Lt. Aldo Raine. These are the basterds, ever heard of us?” – Lt. Aldo Raine
8. “So, gentlemen, let’s discuss the prospect of ending the war tonight.” – Col. Hans Landa
9. “My name is Shosanna Dreyfus and this is the face of Jewish vengeance!” – Shosanna Dreyfus
10. “We’re gonna be doing one thing, and one thing only. Killing Nazis!” – Lt. Aldo Raine
11. “You don’t like them. You don’t really know why you don’t like them. All you know is you find them repulsive.” – Col. Hans Landa
12. “Tell me, Aldo, if I were sitting where you’re sitting, would you show me mercy?” – Col. Hans Landa
13. “I love rumors! Facts can be so misleading, where rumors, true or false, are often revealing.” – Col. Hans Landa
14. “You know somethin’, Utivich? I think this just might be my masterpiece!” – Lt. Aldo Raine
15. “So you’re ‘the Jew Hunter.’” – Lt. Aldo Raine
16. “Can you Americans speak any other language besides English?” – Bridget von Hammersmark
17. “What a tremendously hostile world that a rat must endure. Yet not only does he survive, he thrives. Because our little foe has an instinct for survival and preservation second to none—and that, Monsieur, is what a Jew shares with a rat.” – Col. Hans Landa
18. “I, on the other hand, love my unofficial title, precisely because I’ve earned it.” – Col. Hans Landa
19. “I’ve heard of the Bear Jew.” – Sgt. Werner Rachtman
20. “A detective. A damn good detective. Finding people is my specialty so naturally, I work for the Nazis finding people, and yes some of them were Jews. But ‘Jew Hunter?’” – Col. Hans Landa
21. “And another one over there, you might be familiar with Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz. Heard of ’em?” – Lt. Aldo Raine
22. “That’s Sgt. Donny Donowitz. You might know him better by his nickname—‘The Bear Jew.’ Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
23. “Everybody in the German army’s heard of Hugo Stiglitz.” – Sgt. Werner Rachtman
24. “Looks like we have a bit of a sticky situation here.” – Major Dieter Hellstrom
25. “Well, if this is it, old boy, I hope you don’t mind if I go out speaking the King’s.” – Lt. Archie Hicox
26. “Because you’ve just given yourself away, Captain. You’re no more German than that scotch.” – Major Dieter Hellstrom
27. “All y’all will git me 100 Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of 100 dead Nazis. Or you will die tryin’.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
28. “That’s why any and every son of a b*tch we find wearin’ a Nazi uniform, they’re gonna die.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
29. “Nazi ain’t got no humanity.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
30. “Yeah, that’s what we thought. We don’t like that. You see, we like our Nazis in uniform. That way we can spot ’em just like that. But you take off that uniform, ain’t no one ever gonna know you were a Nazi. And that don’t sit well with us. So, I’m gonna give you a little something you can’t take off.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
31. “I can see since you didn’t see what happened inside, that the Nazis being there must look odd.” – Bridget von Hammersmark
32. “Now, if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk.” – Col. Hans Landa
33. “We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty, they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
34. “That you are all going to die. And I want you to look deep into the face of the Jew that is going to do it!” – Shosanna Dreyfus
35. “Gentlemen, I have no intention of killing Hitler and killing Goebbels and killing Göring and killing Bormann, not to mention winning the war single-handedly for the Allies, only later to find myself standing before a Jewish tribunal. If you want to win the war tonight, we have to make a deal.” – Col. Hans Landa
36. “However, I’m sure this mission of yours has a commanding officer. A general. I’m betting for—OSS would be my guess.” – Col. Hans Landa
37. “We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!” – Lt. Aldo Raine
38. “I think you show great talent. And I pride myself on having an eye for that kind of talent. But your status as a Nazi killer is still amateur. We all come here to see if you wanna go pro.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
39. “They’re the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin’, mass murderin’ maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
40. “I am going to burn down the cinema on Nazi night. And if I’m going to burn down the cinema, which I am, we both know you’re not going to let me do it by myself. Because you love me. And I love you. And you’re the only person on this earth I can trust. But that’s not all we’re going to do. Does the filmmaking equipment in the attic still work? I know the film camera does. How about the sound recorder?” – Shosanna Dreyfus
41. “The German won’t not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the German will be sickened by us, and the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us. And when the German closes their eyes at night and they’re tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good?” – Lt. Aldo Raine
42. “You can’t expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger.” – Sgt. Werner Rachtman
43. “Well, now Werner, that’s where you’re wrong, because that’s exactly what I expect. I need to know about Germans hiding in them trees, and you need to tell me, and you need to tell me right now. Now, just take that finger of yours and point out on this here map where this party’s being held, how many’s coming, and what they brought to play with.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
44. “It’s a hostile world, indeed.” – Col. Hans Landa
45. “I’m aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.” – Col. Hans Landa
46. “I’ve done my share of bootlegging. Up ‘ere, if you engage in what the federal government calls ‘illegal activity,’ but what we call ‘just a man tryin’ to make a livin’ for his family sellin’ moonshine liquor,’ it behooves oneself to keep his wits. Long story short, we hear a story too good to be true—it ain’t.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
47. “Sitting in your chair, I would probably say the same thing. And 999 point 999 times out of a million, you would be correct. But in the pages of history, every once in a while, fate reaches out and extends its hand.” – Col. Hans Landa
48. “He beats German soldiers with a club.” – Sgt. Werner Rachtman
49. “You either do what the f*ck we tell you, or I’ll bury this ax in your collaborating skull.” – Shosanna Dreyfus
50. “We punch those goons out, take their machine guns, and burst in there blasting!” – Sgt. Donny Donowitz
51. “Then bring them to me! I will hang them naked, by their heels from the Eiffel Tower! And then throw their bodies into the sewers for the rats of Paris to feast on!” – Adolf Hitler
52. “Now, before we yank that slug out you, you need to answer a few questions.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
53. “Did they mark you like they did they did the other survivors?” – Adolf Hitler
54. “We just wanted to say we’re a big fan of your work when it comes to killing Nazis.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
55. “He bashes their brains in with a is what he does. Now, Werner, I’m gonna ask you one last g*dd*mn time, if you still respectfully refuse, I’m callin’ the Bear Jew over. He’s gonna take that big bat of his, and he’s gonna beat your *ss to death with it. Now, take your wiener schnitzel lickin’ finger and point out on this map what I want to know.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
56. “Now, when you report what happened here, you can’t tell ’em you told us what you told us. They’ll shoot ya. But they’re gonna wanna know why you so special, we let you live? So, tell ’em we let you live so you could spread the word through the ranks what’s gonna happen to every Nazi we find.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
57. “After I kill that guy, you have 30 feet to get to that guy. Can you do it?” – Sgt. Donny Donowitz
58. “Might I inquire—like our young newly christened father here—I, too, have an acute ear for accents. And like him, I, too, find yours odd. From where do you hail, Captain?” – Major Dieter Hellstrom
59. “I wasn’t speaking to you, Lieutenant Munich. Or you either, Lieutenant Frankfurt. I was speaking to Captain I-don’t-know-what.” – Major Dieter Hellstrom
60. “‘Looks like the shoe’s on the other foot. Yeah, I was just thinking that.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
61. “I just have a few questions, Monsieur LaPadite. If you can assist me with answers, my department can close the file on your family.” – Col. Hans Landa
62. “There’s a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch.” – Lt. Archie Hicox
63. “Monsieur LaPadite, while I’m very familiar with you and your family, I have no way of knowing if you are familiar with who I am. Are you aware of my existence?” – Col. Hans Landa
64. “Gentlemen, it’s a pleasure; the friends of our cherished star, admired by all of us, this outright jewel of our culture, are naturally going to be under my personal protection for the duration of their stay.” – Col. Hans Landa
65. “But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat.” – Col. Hans Landa
66. “Now, about this pickle we find ourselves in. It would appear there’s only one thing left for you to do.” – Lt. Archie Hicox
67. “I don’t blame ya! Damn good deal! And that purty little nest you feathered for yourself. Well, if you’re willing to barbecue the whole high command, I ‘spose that’s worth certain considerations. But I do have one question. When you get to your little place on Nantucket Island, I imagine you’re gonna take off that handsome-lookin’ S.S. uniform of yours, ain’tcha?—that’s what I thought. Now that I can’t abide. How ’bout you Utivich, can you abide it?” – Lt. Aldo Raine
68. “Besides, to hell with the French. This is a German night, a German event, a German celebration.” – Fredrick Zoller
69. “This night is for you, me, the German military, the High Command, their family and friends.” – Fredrick Zoller
70. “The only people who should be allowed in the room are the people who will be moved by the exploits on the screen.” – Fredrick Zoller
71. “Y’know, Utivich ‘n myself heard that deal you made with the brass. End the war tonight?—I’d make that deal. How ’bout you Utivich, you make that deal?” – Lt. Aldo Raine
72. “What shall the history books read?” – Col. Hans Landa
73. “Yet they’re both rodents, are they not? And except for the tail they even rather look alike, don’t they?” – Col. Hans Landa
74. “My hands, to be exact. And they’ve been waiting a long time to touch you.” – Col. Hans Landa
75. “I don’t know about y’all, but I sure as hell didn’t come down from the g*dd*mn Smoky Mountains, cross 5,000 miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a f*ck*n’ air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
76. “If a rat were to scamper through your front door right now, would you greet it with hostility?” – Col. Hans Landa
77. “Since I haven’t heard any disturbance I assume, while they are listening, they don’t speak English.” – Col. Hans Landa
78. “These Yanks have beaten down the devil.” – Gen. Ed Fenech
79. “I don’t know what’s going on! That does not belong in my movie!” – Joseph Goebbels
80. “I look forward to seeing you face to face as well, sir.” – Col. Hans Landa
81. “I see your public speaking has improved.” – Joseph Goebbels
82. “I did have something else I wanted to ask you, but right now, for the life of me, I can’t remember what it is. Oh, well, must not have been important. Till tonight.” – Col. Hans Landa
83. “Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague, but that’s some time ago. I propose to you, any disease a rat could spread, a squirrel could equally carry. Would you agree?” – Col. Hans Landa
84. “Extraordinary, my dear. Simply extraordinary. This is your finest film yet.” – Adolf Hitler
85. “What’s that English saying about shoes and feet?” – Col. Hans Landa
86. “Who wants to send a message to Germany?” – Fredrick Zoller
87. “Now, say we let you go, and say you survive the war. When you get back home, whatcha gonna do?” – Lt. Aldo Raine
88. “I must say, damn good stuff, Sir.” – Lt. Archie Hicox
89. “Look, she’s not a military strategist. She’s just an actress.” – Lt. Archie Hicox
90. “So who are your three handsome escorts?” – Col. Hans Landa
91. “Rats spread diseases. They bite people.” – Perrier LaPadite
92. “Because, Marcel, my sweet, we’re going to make a film. Just for the Nazis.” – Shosanna Dreyfus
93. “It’s been a pleasure chatting with a fellow cinema lover.” – Fredrick Zoller
94. “Speaking of Frau von Hammersmark, whose idea was it for the death trap rendezvous?” – Sgt. Donny Donowitz
95. “Gorlami? Am I pronouncing it correctly?” – Col. Hans Landa
96. “May I smoke my pipe as well?” – Col. Hans Landa
97. “I respectfully refuse, sir.” – Sgt. Werner Rachtman
98. “Please, Colonel, make yourself at home.” – Perrier LaPadite
99. “The Germans’ nickname for me is ‘the Little Man?’” – Pfc. Smithson Utivich
100. “I’m afraid neither three speak a word of German. They’re friends of mine from Italy. This is the wonderful Italian stuntman, Enzo Gorlami; a very talented cameraman, Antonio Margheriti; and Antonio’s camera assistant, Dominick Decocco.” – Bridget von Hammersmark
101. “I have a message for Germany.” – Shosanna Dreyfus
102. “Do you control the nicknames your enemies bestow on you? ‘Aldo the Apache’ and ‘the Little Man’?” – Col. Hans Landa
103. “Are you mad? What have you done? I made a deal with your general for that man’s life!” – Col. Hans Landa
104. “I’m going to switch back to French now and I want you to follow my masquerade. Is that clear?” – Col. Hans Landa
105. “The Führer is attending the premiere.” – Adolf Hitler
106. “Monsieur, to both your family and your cows, I say, ‘Bravo.’” – Col. Hans Landa
107. “Well, I speak the most Italian, so I’ll be your escort. Donowitz speaks the second most, so he’ll be your Italian cameraman. Omar speaks third most, so he’ll be Donny’s assistant.” – Lt.
108. “What’s going to happen, Major, you’re going to stand up and walk out that door with us.” – Lt. Archie Hicox
109. “Yeah, we got a word for that kinda odd in English. It’s called suspicious.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
110. “If you offered me a Scotch and plain water, I could drink Scotch and plain water.” – Lt. Archie Hicox
111. “Well, let’s just say she got what she deserved.” – Col. Hans Landa
112. “You get that for killin’ Jews?” – Sgt. Donny Donowitz
113. “When you join my command, you take on debit.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
114. “The kind you wouldn’t have the authority to make.” – Col. Hans Landa
115. “About I got three men dead back there. Why don’t you try telling us what the f*ck happened?” – Lt. Aldo Raine
116. “You’ve had a nice long run, Aldo. Alas, you’re now in the hands of the SS.” – Col. Hans Landa
117. “I’m more than just a uniform.” – Fredrick Zoller
118. “Yeah, they made that deal, but they don’t give a f*ck about him. They need you.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
119. “We have all our rotten eggs in one basket. The objective of Operation Kino—blow up the basket.” – General Ed Fenech
120. “Everybody needs to calm down! You’re letting your imagination get the better of you!” – Bridget von Hammersmark
121. “It’s only the offspring of slaves that allows America to be competitive athletically. American Olympic gold can be measured in Negro sweat.” – Joseph Goebbels
122. “Teddy f*ck*n’ Williams knocks it out of the park! Fenway Park on its feet for Teddy f*ck*n’ Ballgame! He went yardo on that one, out to f*ck*n’ Lansdowne Street!” – Sgt. Donny Donowitz
123. “Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein!” – Adolf Hitler
124. “You’ll be shot for this!” – Col. Hans Landa
125. “F*ck you and your Jew dogs!” – Sgt. Werner Rachtman
126. “Get the f*ck up! You’re on deck!” – Sgt. Donny Donowitz
127. “Bring that f*ck*r over here!” – Shosanna Dreyfus
128. “Ooh la la—Danielle Darrieux.” – Marcel
129. “I don’t speak Italian.” – Pfc. Omar Ulmer
130. “Shut up, sl*t! You were saying?” – Major Dieter Hellstrom
131. “F*ck a duck!” – Sgt. Donny Donowitz
132. “Well, isn’t that just dandy!” – Sgt. Donny Donowitz
133. “Gorlami!” – Lt. Aldo Raine
134. “Bravery.” – Sgt. Rachtman
135. “Arriverderci.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
136. “Au revoir, Shosanna!” – Col. Hans Landa
137. Lt. Aldo Raine: “Well, ain’t that a real nice boy? Are you going to take off your uniform?”
Pvt. Butz: “Not only shall I remove it, I intend to burn it.”
138. “Yeah, in a basement. You know, fightin’ in a basement offers a lot of difficulties. Number one being, you’re fightin’ in a basement!” – Lt. Aldo Raine
139. Col. Hans Landa: “Oooh, that’s a bingo! Is that the way you say it? ‘That’s a bingo?’’”
Lt. Aldo Raine: “You just say, ‘Bingo.’”
Col. Hans Landa: “Bingo! How fun! But, I digress. Where were we?”
140. Master SGT. Wilhelm: “Who are you? British, American? What?”
Lt. Aldo Raine: “We’re American! What’re you?”
Master SGT. Wilhelm: “I’m a German, you idiot!”
141. “It looks like we’re supposed to have a Nazi premiere.” – Shosanna Dreyfus
142. Lt. Aldo Raine: “You know, where I’m from—.”
Col. Hans Landa: “Yeah, where is that, exactly?”
Lt. Aldo Raine: “Maynardville, Tennessee.”
143. “ Who and what is a ‘Private Butz?’” – Adolf Hitler
144. Lt. Archie Hicox: “What should we drink to, sir?”
General Ed Fenech: “Down with Hitler.”
Lt. Archie Hicox: “All the way down, sir.”
145. “What the f*ck are we supposed to do?” – Marcel
146. “Mein Führer, do you still wish to see Private Butz?” – Kliest
147. “It seems I’ve created a monster. A strangely persuasive monster.” – Joseph Goebbels
148. “How much more of these Jew swine must I endure? They butcher my men like they were fish bait! I have heard the rumors myself! Soldiers of the Third Reich, who have brought the world to its knees, now pecking and clucking like chickens. Do you know the latest rumor they’ve conjured up in their fear-induced delirium? The one that beats my boys with a bat. The one they call ‘the Bear Jew’ is a golem!” – Adolf Hitler
149. “You’re sheltering them underneath your floorboards, aren’t you?” – Col. Hans Landa
150. “If they’re still there, and if they’re still alive, and that’s one big, ‘If’, there ain’t no way you gonna take them boys without setting off them bombs.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
151. “ I’m afraid you and I—we both know, Captain—no matter what happens to anybody else in this room, the two of us aren’t going anywhere. Too bad about Sergeant Wilhelm and his famous friends. If any of you expect to live, you’ll have to shoot them too. Looks like little Max will grow up an orphan. How sad.” – Major Dieter Hellstrom
152. “Like I said, third best. Just keep your f*ckin’ mouth shut. In fact, why don’t you start practicing, right now!” – Lt. Aldo Raine
153. “And as if to make my point, I’m a little surprised how tall you were in real life. I mean, you’re a little fellow, but not circus-midget little, as your reputation would suggest.” – Col. Hans Landa
154. “You didn’t say the g*dd*mn rendezvous was in a f*ckin’ basement.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
155. “You speak English pretty good for a German.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
156. “I don’t wish to be your friend.” – Shosanna Dreyfus
157. “If you ever wanna eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta point on this map to me where they are.” – Lt. Aldo Raine
158. “Not to me. If you are so desperate for a French girlfriend, I suggest you try Vichy.” – Shosanna Dreyfus
159. “Well, you don’t got to be Stonewall Jackson to know you don’t want to fight in a basement!” – Lt. Aldo Raine
160. “Well, you do have to admit, it is catchy.” – Pfc. Smithson Utivich
161. “That makes three of us. And at this range, I’m a real Frederick Zoller.” – Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz
162. “I must say, I grow weary of these monkeyshines.” – Major Dieter Hellstrom
163. “Did you hear that? That was the sound of my Walther. Pointed right at your testicles.” – Major Dieter Hellstrom
164. “That’s a pretty exciting story. What’s next? ‘Eliza On The Ice?f – Lt. Aldo Raine
165. “Why do you have your Walther pointed at my testicles?” – Lt. Archie Hicox
166. “Well, it just so happens I do as well. This being your house, I ask your permission to switch back to English for the remainder of the conversation.” – Col. Hans Landa
167. “I was saying that that makes two of us. I’ve had a gun pointed at your balls since you sat down.” – Lt. Archie Hicox
168. “Monsieur LaPadite, I regret to inform you I have exhausted the extent of my French. To continue to speak it so inadequately would only serve to embarrass me. However, I’ve been lead to believe that you speak English quite well.” – Col. Hans Landa
169. “I have an order I want relayed to all German soldiers stationed in France. The Jew degenerate known as ‘the Bear Jew’ henceforth is never to be referred to as ‘the Bear Jew’ again. Did you get that, Kliest?” – Adolf Hitler
