2. “We’re afraid that we will never escape our past. We’re afraid of what the future will bring. We’re afraid we won’t be loved, we won’t be liked. And we won’t succeed.” – Parish Priest

3. Marion McPherson: “I want you to be the very best version of yourself that you can be.” 

Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “What if this is the best version?” 

4. “Because it’s not important to be right. It’s only important to be true.” – Father Leviatch

5. “Money is not life’s report card. Being successful doesn’t mean anything in and of itself. It just means that you’re successful. But that doesn’t mean that you’re happy.” – Marion McPherson

6. “Some people aren’t built happy, you know.” – Julie Steffans

7. “Don’t you think maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?” – Sister Sarah Joan

8. “Different things can be sad! It’s not all war!” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson


9. “Lady Bird always says that she lives in on the wrong side of the tracks, but I always thought that that was like a metaphor, but there are actually train tracks.” – Danny

10. “Lady Bird, is that your given name?” – College Professor

11. “You aren’t gonna get in a car with a guy who honks, are you?” – Larry McPherson

12. “People go by the names their parents give them, but they don’t believe in God.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

13. “You write about Sacramento so affectionately and with such care.” – Sister Sarah Joan

14. “What you do is very baller. You’re very anarchist.” – Kyle Scheible

15. “You clearly love Sacramento.” – Sister Sarah Joan

16. “That’s something that rich people do. We’re not rich people.” – Marion McPherson

17. “I wish I could live through something.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

18. “I thought you didn’t even care what I think.” – Marion McPherson

19. “You think dead children aren’t morally wrong?” – Casey Kelly

20. “With your , just go to City College and then to jail and then go back to City College and then maybe, you’d learn to pull yourself up and not expect everybody to do everything.” – Marion McPherson

21. “You can’t do anything unless you’re the center of attention, can you?” – Julie Steffans

22. “You should just go to City College.” – Marion McPherson

23. “You wouldn’t get into those schools anyway.” – Marion McPherson

24. Guidance Counselor: “Then you’ll be applying to UCs and State schools?”

Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “Yeah, but also those East Coast liberal arts schools. Like Yale, but not Yale because I probably couldn’t get in.”

Guidance Counselor: “You definitely couldn’t get in. Part of my job is to help you be realistic.”

Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “Yeah. That seems like everyone’s job.”

25. “I hate California, I want to go to the east coast. I want to go where culture is like New York, or Connecticut, or New Hampshire.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

26. Marion McPherson: “We don’t need to buy that.”

Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “It’s only three dollars. I’m having a hard week.”

27. “Whatever we give you is not enough!” – Marion McPherson

28. “Why can’t you say I look nice?” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

29. “No, I mean, I just, I wish that you liked me.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

30. “I still want you to think I look good.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

31. “But do you like me?” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

32. “Your mom is crazy, I’m scared of her.” – Danny O’Neill

33. “Well, I hope not ’cause I’d f*ck*ng kill your family.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

34. “She’s warm, but she’s also kind of scary.” – Danny O’Neill

35. “If you had b**bs, I wouldn’t touch them either.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

36. “Okay, I’m sorry. I was telling you the truth, do you want me to lie?” – Marion McPherson

37. “I’m not yelling—oh, it’s perfect.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

38. “She’s not crazy she just, you know, she has a big heart. She’s very warm.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

39. Julie Steffans: “What about terrorism?”

Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “Don’t be republican.”

40. “You know you can touch my b**bs, right?” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

41. “You both have such strong personalities.” – Larry McPherson

42. “I don’t find your mother warm.” – Danny O’Neill

43. “Oh yeah, we’d have to kill them. And we’d have to kill his older brothers too.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

44. “Yeah, well you know, your mom’s t*ts, they’re fake! Totally fake!” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

45. Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “I just don’t get why I’m not good at math. My dad is really good at math. Even Miguel has a math degree.”
Julie Steffans: “Maybe it’s your mom’s fault.”

46. Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “Are you and Mom gonna get a divorce over this?”
Larry McPherson: “No. We can’t afford to.”

47. “No. I’m just saying that, if you took up-close pictures of my v*g*n* while I was on my period, it would be disturbing but it doesn’t make it wrong.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

48. Miguel McPherson: “Hey, I’m not paying you to flirt.”

Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “I wasn’t flirting.”

Kyle Scheible: “I wish you had been.”

49. “I gave it to myself. It’s given to me by me.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

50. “Six inches for the Holy Spirit.” – Sister Sarah Joan

51. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna snitch on you.” – Kyle Scheible

52. “It’s okay. My dad has , so I guess God’s doing that for us.” – Kyle Scheible

53. “Excuse me? You said you were a virgin.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

54. “I lost my virginity to Cassie Duvall.” – Kyle Scheible

55. “How in the world did I raise such a snob?” – Marion McPherson

56. “It’s weird you shake hands.” – Kyle Scheible

57. “It is the titular role!” – Julie Steffans

58. “It’s normal to not touch a penis.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

59. Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “What role?”

Julie Steffans: “The Tempest.”

Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “There is no role of the Tempest!”

60. “Hey, I’m like Keith Richards. I’m just happy to be anywhere.” – Larry McPherson

61. Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “I was just describing it.”

Sister Sarah Joan: “Well it comes across as love.”

62. “I just wanted it to be special.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

63. “I was on top! Who the f*ck is on top their first time.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

64. “I didn’t lose my virginity to you.” – Kyle Scheible

65. “I know. It’s just that I respect you too much for that.” – Danny O’Neill

66. “I found when it happened that I really like dry humping more.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

67. “Why? You’re going to have so much unspecial sex in your life.” – Kyle Scheible

68. Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “When is a normal time to have sex?”

Marion McPherson: “You’re having sex?”

69. “No I didn’t. Cause I’m not. And I haven’t lied in two years.” – Kyle Scheible

70. “You are so infuriating!” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

71. “Of course I love you.” – Marion McPherson

72. “Does hate me?” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

73. “What do you want us to do? She’s drunk.” – NYC Nurse

74. “I’m not tired.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

75. “L’Enfance Nue.” – Kyle Scheible

76. “Sorry. I—that was an exaggeration.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

77. “Do you love it?” – Marion McPherson

78. “Two bad decisions!” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

79. “You’re gay.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

80. “Cool. Awesome. I totally get that. Thank you.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

81. “Will you stop yelling?” – Marion McPherson

82. “You can’t be scary and warm.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

83. “If you’re tired, we can sit down.” – Marion McPherson

84. “She made one bad decision at 19!” – Julie Steffans

85. “Listen, if your mother had had the abortion, we wouldn’t have to sit through this stupid assembly!” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

86. “The only thing exciting about 2002 is that it’s a palindrome.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

87. “Do you think I look like I’m from Sacramento?” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

88. “Are we still going to prom together?” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

89. “Hey, Mom, did you feel emotional the first time that you drove in Sacramento? I did and I wanted to tell you, but we weren’t really talking when it happened. All those bends I’ve known my whole life, and stores, and the whole thing. But I wanted to tell you I love you. Thank you, I’m—thank you.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

90. “It’s just a bird head in a lady body, or vice versa.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

91. “Well it’s nice to make things neat and clean. You ready to go home?” – Marion McPherson

92. “It’s my tradition to run for office. Don’t worry. I won’t win.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

93. “You are from Sacramento.” – Marion McPherson

94. “The government didn’t have to put tracking devices on us. We bought them and put them on ourselves.” – Kyle Scheible

95. Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson: “Uh, It’s my parents’ number.”

Kyle Scheible: “You don’t have a cellphone?”

96. “Some of the students were disturbed by your posters.” – Sister Sarah Joan

97. “Miss Patty assigned you a role, by the way, you just never showed up to claim it.” – Julie Steffans

98. “Uh. Well, I saw your Thanksgiving show. My name’s Lady Bird.” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson

99. “Hey. I like your band. With Jonah Ruiz? L’Enfance Nue?” – Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson


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