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80 SpongeBob Quotes on Friendship, Humor, and Life

1. “Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

2. “I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!” – Patrick Star

3. “, and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

4. “Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are.” – Patrick Star

5. “Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy Cheeks

6. “I know of a place where you never get harmed. A place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

7. “I’m ugly and I’m proud.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

8. “You’re a man now, SpongeBob, and it’s time you started acting like one.” – Patrick Star

9. “You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

10. “Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

11. “Sometimes, we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.” – Patrick Star

12. “Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

13. “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” – SpongeBob SquarePants

14. “That’s it mister! You just lost your brain privileges!” – Plankton

15. “It’s not always what you say that matters. Sometimes, it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs

16. “You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

17. “The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

18. “Can you give SpongeBob his brain back? I had to borrow it for the week.” – Patrick Star

19. “You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.” – Plankton

20. “I’m a good noodle!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

21. “SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish for 12 hours!” – Squidward

22. “All I know is fine dining and breathing.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

23. “Squidward, that’s not the peace treaty, that’s a copy of the peace treaty.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

24. “Don’t you dare take the name of Texas in vain.” – Sandy

25. “Patrick, you’ve been wearing the same Goofy Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight! What do you call that?” – SpongeBob SquarePants

26. “And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

27. “Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb.” – Patrick Star

28. “See, no one says ‘cool’ anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say ‘coral’, as in, ‘That nose job is so coral.’” – Pearl Krabs

29. “Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

30. “Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

31. “‘F’ is for friends who do stuff together! ‘U’ is for you and me. ‘N’ is for anywhere and anytime at all.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

32. “If there’s one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it’s a healthy dose of dark humor!” – Lord Royal Highness

33. “Ravioli Ravioli, give me the formuoli.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

34. “What’s better than serving up smiles?” – SpongeBob SquarePants

35. “Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” – Patrick Star

36. “I’ve soiled the good Krusty Krab name! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

37. “A five letter word for happiness—money.” – Mr. Krabs

38. “Well, first, we have to balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads, stand on one foot, and sing the Bikini Bottom anthem.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

39. “Too bad SpongeBob isn’t here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.” – Squidward

40. “We don’t need television—not as long as we have our imagination.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

41. “Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!” – Plankton

42. “Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

43. “A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

44. “Wake me up when I care.” – Squidward

45. “The Krusty Krab Pizza is the pizza for you and me!”

46. “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” – Patrick Star

47. “Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!” – Patrick Star

48. “With imagination, you can be anything you want.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

49. “Quick, Patrick, without thinking—if you could have anything right now, what would it be?” – SpongeBob SquarePants

50. “We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.” – Mr. Krabs

51. “I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

52. “It’s a big, beautiful, old rock! Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles! And it’s in great shape.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

53. “Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!” – Patrick Star

54. “This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is advanced darkness. Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

55. “Always follow your heart—unless your heart is bad with directions.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

56. “We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!” – Patrick Star

57. “Patrick, don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?” – Squidward

58. “After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize that you don’t want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.” – Squidward

59. “I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

60. “Look at all the hip young people eating sal-ads.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

61. “Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

62. “But it’s my only night to be fancy!” – Squidward

63. “Too bad that didn’t kill me.” – Squidward

64. “Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t get jazz.” – Patrick Star

65. “You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio!” – Squidward

66. “I’ll have you know that I stubbed my toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

67. “Every Halloween, no matter how hard I try, everybody scares me.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

68. “No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

69. “Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities—one, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!” – Mr. Krabs

70. “Moss always points to civilization.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

71. “Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?” – Patrick Star

72. “Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.” – Plankton

73. “Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

74. “I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

75. “It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever.” – Squidward

76. “If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, then it would just be alright.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

77. “You’re good. You’re good. You’re good!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

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