2. “What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
3. “I guess a legend and an out-of-work bum look a lot alike, Daddy.” – Little Enos
4. “Apprehend that horse for reckless driving!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
5. “I think you’re just a little bit scared.” – Little Enos
6. “You see son, old legends never die. They just lose weight.” – Big Enos
7. “What the hell is the world coming to?” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
8. “I take my hat off for one thing, and one thing only.” – Bandit
9. “The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.” – Sheriff Branford
10. “Whoa! Negatory, negatory, what’re you, crazy or something? We come this far, ain’t we? Look, when we say we gonna do a job, we gonna do a job!” – Cledus Snow
11. “I’m not givin’ up! I’m not givin’ up! I’m never gonna give up! I’m never gonna give up! I’ll get you, you sumbitch!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
12. “Goddamn it, son, we gave it our best shot. I don’t like it any more than you do, but we ain’t gonna make it, son. We’re gonna hang it up.” – Bandit
13. “For the good old American life—for the money, the glory, and the fun. Mostly for the money.” – Bandit
14. “Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there’s just one thing I wanna say. I’ve been chased by the best of them, and son, you make ’em look like they’re all runnin’ in slow motion. I just wanna say that.” – Bandit
15. “Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick. I’m in a goddamn hurry.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
16. “The goddamn Germans got nothin’ to do with it!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
17. “Son, you reckon you can let me off at the next exit?” – Bandit
18. “I happen to be Buford T. Justice, a distinguished officer of over 40 years seniority.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
19. “Ooo, hee-hee, for some reason or another, you sounded a little taller on radio, hee-hee.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
20. “I think I’m in love with your belt buckle.” – Carrie
21. “I find it hard to look at you, Waynette. With all those curlers in your hair, you look like you’re tryin’ to pick up a radio station in Savannah.” – Bandit
22. “Damn, he had a lot of friends, didn’t he?” – Junior
23. “Well, thank you Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you’re the goddamnedest pursuee I’ve ever pursued. Where are you, you sumbitch?” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
24. “Nobody, and I mean, nobody makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
25. “Actually, my heaviest relationship was with an acid rock singer named Robert Crumly. We were together, oh, eight and a half days. God, I really thought that was it. One day, I came home and found him in the shower with a girl and her mother!” – Carrie
26. “I’d like to kick his ass just once.” – Little Enos
27. Bandit: “What do you think they do for excitement in this town?”
Cledus Snow: “Probably sit around and watch the cars rust.”
28. “That’s real good psychology. Why don’t you say something bad about my mother?” – Bandit
29. “Oh I love your suits. It must have been a bitch to get a 68 Extra Fat and a 12 Dwarf.” – Bandit
30. “We have a chance, a big chance to make a run for some big bucks. Eighty thousand of them.” – Bandit
31. “You know what? Scratch that. I can’t lie to you, Sheriff. You’re too good a man. Look over your left shoulder.” – Bandit
32. “Because you’re always hoppin around, and kinda, you’re cute like a frog. And I’d like ta jump ya.” – Bandit
33. “Mr Bandit, you have a lyrical way of cutting through the bullshit.” – Carrie
34. “I can drive any forkin’ thing around.” – Bandit
35. “Bandit? This is Mr B., and I’m gearjammin’ this rollin’ refinery, you got another smokey on the rubber?” – Mr. B
36. “The welcome mat is out, and you’re comin’ home.” – Mr. B
37. “And you have a unique way with the English language, Miss Frog.” – Bandit
38. “Hold on to Fred, son! Here comes the cavalry!” – Bandit
39. “Atlanta to Texarkana and back in 28 hours? That ain’t never been done before, not in no rig.” – Cledus Snow
40. “I’m hot to trot. Just tell me how I can help, and I’m with you, body and soul. Channel clear.” – Hot Pants
41. “Oh, they don’t? Well, I tell you what we gonna do! We just gonna introduce ’em to the boy. So move over a bit, good buddy, ’cause the Snowman is coming through!” – Cledus Snow
42. Cledus Snow: “Well, they said it couldn’t be done.”
Bandit: “Well, that’s the reason, son!”
43. “Now, gettin’ to Texarkana and back in 28 hours, that’s no problem.” – Bandit
44. “We ain’t got time for that crap!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
45. Junior: “My hat blew off, Daddy.”
Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “I hope your goddamn head was in it.”
46. “No hard feelings, Junior!” – Carrie
47. “You got trouble comin’.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
48. Little Enos: “It ain’t never been done before, hot shit.”
Bandit: “Watch your language, little lady.”
49. “Bandit, I got a smokey report for you. Come on!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
50. “He about as crazy as you are ugly!” – Cledus Snow
51. “Hushpuppies, Daddy!” – Junior
52. “If J.W. don’t get outta my way, I’m gonna pass him.” – Branford’s Deputy
53. “Where in the woods? Listen, I don’t care if your dad is the mayor, you wreck this car, it’s comin’ out of your pay.” – Sheriff Branford
54. “I don’t care if your name is Broderick Crawford.” – Patrolman
55. “Egotistical son of a bitch.” – Little Enos
56. “Daddy, the top came off!” – Junior
57. “You sombitches couldn’t close an umbrella.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
58. “I’m gonna barbecue your ass in molasses!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
59. “She insulted my town! She insulted my son! She insulted my authority! And that’s nothin’ but pure and simple old-fashioned communism.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
60. “One of you damned kids, get this dog out of here!” – Waynette Snow
61. “Nobody’s chasin’ me, boy!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
62. “I saw that! You did that on purpose! You’re goin’ away till you’re gray! I got the evidence! Put the evidence in the car.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
63. “Look, you got Cledus in jail once! Leave us alone!” – Waynette Snow
64. “My handle’s Smokey Bear and I’m tail-grabbin yo ass right now!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
65. “If they’d a cremated the sumbitch. I could be kickin’ that Mr. Bandit’s ass around the moon by now.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
66. “What’s she wearing now? Come back. Hey, you got peanut butter or somethin’ in your ears? Tell me what that girl’s got on her mind!” – Cledus Snow
67. “You know who that is? That be the Evel Knievel. He snuck in my back door when I wasn’t lookin’. You better flip-flop back here and gimme’ a hand, son, or we gonna be in a heap of trouble. Please roger that transmission!” – Cledus Snow
68. “Hoss, you ain’t gonna believe this, but that crazy sumbitch just tried to drive right up under my truck!” – Cledus Snow
69. “You lucky , you got him! Where the hell are you?” – Cledus Snow
70. “Just keep your eye out for that Mr. Bandit bastard!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
71. “Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Why do you want that beer so bad?” – Bandit
72. “Oh, I forgot to tell ‘ya. I’m running blocker for 400 cases of illegal booze!” – Bandit
73. Carrie: “You have a great profile.”
Bandit: “Yeah, I do, don’t I? Especially from the side.”
Carrie: “Well, at least we agree on something.”
Bandit: “Yeah. We both like half of my face.”
74. Carrie: “That was great! I want to jump something else! I want to jump a car, or a house, I wanna jump something!”
Bandit: “Then jump me!”
75. “Hey, we really ought to pay somebody for that mess we made.” – Cledus Snow
76. “I can see her now, runnin’ back up that aisle. No, she was dancin’ back up the aisle. Her knockers bouncin’ all over the joint. Her ass was wigglin’ too!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
77. “I’m gettin’ worried about Fred here, he’s lookin’ a little thin in the skin!” – Cledus Snow
78. “Whoa. I gotta flash for you. That’s called bootleggin’ and that’s against the law.” – Cledus Snow
79. “Well, son! Redneck heaven!” – Cledus Snow
80. “Well, at least he kept it in the family.” – Bandit
81. “I don’t think my dog bit you, mister. ‘Cause Fred definitely don’t like grease!” – Cledus Snow
82. “Besides, I can’t go with you. I got to go to Conyers in the morning and pick up a load of manure.” – Cledus Snow
83. “Daddy, wait for me! Don’t leave me! Who’s gonna hold your hat?” – Junior
84. “Any fool who would paint his truck like this would show up at a minister’s funeral dressed in feathers.” – Big Enos
85. “Cowboys love fat calves.” – Bandit
86. Bandit: “Sorry. I don’t wanna get married.”
Carrie: “Terrific. That makes two of us.”
87. “What? You’re crazy. And I’m divorced.” – Jerry Reed
88. “When you tell somebody somethin’, it depends on which part of the United States you’re standing in as to just how dumb you are.” – Bandit
89. “Hold up on that car wash gentlemen.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
90. “When you raid the cathouse, you take the piano player too.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
91. “I’m right down at the bottom of the hill, Sheriff. I’m about six-foot-eight, in a cowboy outfit, got a little pygmy standing right beside me dressed just like me. You can’t miss me. 10-4.” – Bandit
92. “I got that all figured out. Just tell ‘em to send the bill to Big Enos Burdette.” – Bandit
93. “Duck, or you’re gonna be talkin’ out yo ass!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
94. “You run up to Boston, and bring back some clam chowder for me and my Daddy.” – Little Enos
95. “And don’t go home, and don’t go to eat, and don’t play with yourself. It wouldn’t look nice on my highway. Oh, you can think about it, but don’t do it!” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
96. “Hey Bandit! This is Little Beaver. Put your foot on the floor, we got your backdoor and I’m clear!” – Little Beaver
97. “Hold on to your ass, Fred!” – Cledus Snow
98. “Listen, darlin’, we’re gonna come screaming by there in about five minutes with a horde of Smokeys on our ass. How about getting those pals of yours out there to block them off?” – Bandit
99. “If you’re gonna hang out in places like this, wear a badge on your didey.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
100. “Whoa, hold it! I said back it up, not raise it up!” – Cledus Snow
101. “I just passed another Kojak with a Kodak, this place is crawling with bears, where the hell are you?” – Cledus Snow
102. “What’s a Texas county mounty doing in Arkansas?” – Bandit
103. “You chasin’ somebody, Sheriff? Somebody chasin’ you?” – Bandit
104. “Snowman, you got your ears on?” – Bandit
105. “You must be in a hell of a hurry, huh, Sheriff?” – Bandit
106. “Did you see that? They went right through our roadblock!” – Deputy Sheriff
107. “Oh, really? What we gonna do, kidnap the Pope or somethin?” – Cledus Snow
108. “Well what’s your handle son, and what’s your 20?” – Bandit
109. “Would a cop taking a leak on the side of the road interest you?” – Carrie
110. “Don’t you ever take off that hat?” – Carrie
111. “Sheriff, do the letters F.O. mean anything to you?” – Bandit
112. “Well, what are we going to do when we go home?” – Carrie
113. “Son, don’t you know this ain’t Saturday?” – Georgia State Trooper
114. “Wanna do a little pond-hopping, Frog?” – Bandit
115. “That’s an attention-getter.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
116. “This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin’ around with those show folk fags.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
117. “New car. Gotta have a new car to block for the truck.” – Bandit
118. “I’m goin’ I’m goin! I got the metal to the pedal and the thing to the floor!” – Carrie
119. “We’re on our way to Boston to pick up some clam chowder. Bye-bye!” – Bandit
120. “Breaker, breaker for the Bandit.” – Sheriff Buford T. Justice
121. “You can’t drive a forklift.” – Cledus Snow
122. “Come ahead, Bandit. We’ll slip you into the rockin’ chair, play a little hide-and-seek.” – Mr. B
123. “Son, he’s not going anywhere. The Mulberry Bridge has been dismantled for the past six months.” – Sheriff Branford
124. “A left. Or a half a U.” – Carrie
125. “That’s ‘cause we ain’t never done it in no rig. You got to stop thinking so negative son, we ain’t not never made it yet have we?” – Bandit
126. Big Enos: “Twenty to one, I break the son of a bitch this time.”
Little Enos: “Gimme 500 on the Bandit.”
127. “He done good, didn’t he, Fred?” – Cledus Snow
128. “You got the one Snowman! I’m eastbound and down!” – Cledus Snow
129. “Your momma is so ugly.” – Little Enos
