2. “I could die right now, Clem. I’m just so happy. I’ve never felt that before. I’m just exactly where I want to be.” – Joel Barish

3. “I wish I had stayed, too. Now, I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had. I wish I had stayed. I do.” – Joel Barish

4. “You looked happy. Happy with a secret.” – Stan

5. “Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.” – Joel Barish

6. “I thought I knew her so well, but I don’t know her at all.” – Joel Barish

7. “Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?” – Joel Barish

8. “I’m always anxious, thinking I’m not living my life to the fullest, taking advantage of every possibility, making sure I’m not wasting one second of the little time I have.” – Clementine Kruczynski

9. “People have to share things. That’s what intimacy is.” – Clementine Kruczynski

10. “I can’t see anything that I don’t like about you.” – Joel Barish

11. “What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she’s a stranger.” – Joel Barish

12. “Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.” – Mary Svevo

13. “The bloom is off the rose, at this point.” – Clementine Kruczynski

14. “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! The world forgetting, by the world, forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resigned.” – Mary Svevo

15. “Sand is overrated. It’s just tiny, little rocks.” – Joel Barish


16. “Remember me. Try your best. Maybe we can.” – Clementine Kruczynski

17. “You’ll remember me in the morning and you’ll come to me, and you’ll tell me about us, and we’ll start over.” – Clementine Kruczynski

18. “I walked out the door. There’s no memory left.” – Joel Barish

19. “Please let me keep this memory, just this one.” – Joel Barish

20. “Look at it out here! It’s all falling apart. I’m erasing you, and I’m happy! You did it to me first. I can’t believe you did this to me. Clem! Did you hear me? By morning, you’ll be gone! The perfect ending to this piece of sh*t story!” – Joel Barish

21. “Joel drives home from the beach party with Rob and Carrie. He looks out the window and sees happy memories with Clem flashing by him.” – Joel Barish

22. “I loved you on this day. I love this memory.” – Joel Barish

23. “Joel shifts between emulating his memories and commenting on them. Sometimes, he even mimics what he knows people will say.” – Joel Barish

24. “Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna make them alive. But I’m just a fucked-up girl who’s looking for my own peace of mind; don’t assign me yours.” – Clementine Kruczynski

25. “Sometimes I think people don’t understand how lonely it is to be a kid; like you don’t matter. So, I’m eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, ‘You can’t be ugly! Be pretty!’ It’s weird; like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too.” – Clementine Kruczynski

26. “Well, technically speaking, the procedure is brain damage, but it’s on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you’ll miss.” – Dr. Howard Mierzwiak

27. “You stop listening to what is true, and what is true is constantly changing.” – Clementine Kruczynski

28. “We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. Maybe one day years from now, we’ll meet in a coffee shop in a faraway city somewhere and we could give it another shot.” – Clementine Kruczynski

29. “I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.” – Joel Barish

30. “We’ll dispose of these mementos when we’re done here, that way you won’t be confused by their unexplainable presence in your home.” – Dr. Howard Mierzwiak

31. “I don’t need nice. I don’t need myself to be it, and I don’t need anybody else to be it at me.” – Clementine Kruczynski

32. “It would be different. If we could just give it another go-round.” – Joel Barish

33. “I’m not a stalker. You’re the one that talked to me, remember?” – Joel Barish

34. “If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I’m incapable of making eye contact with a woman.” – Joel Barish

35. “Are we like those bored couples you feel sorry for in restaurants?” – Joel Barish

36. “I can’t remember anything without you.” – Joel Barish

37. “Can you hear me? I don’t want this anymore! I want to call it off.” – Joel Barish

38. “Not yet, not married. No, I’m not married.” – Joel Barish

39. “I’ve never seen you happier, baby Joel.” – Clementine Kruczynski

40. “Look man, I’m telling you right off the bat I’m high maintenance. So, I’m not gonna tip-toe around your marriage or whatever it is ya got goin’ on there. If you wanna be with me, you’re with me.” – Clementine Kruczynski

41. “And then you just took it—without waiting for an answer. It was so intimate; like we were already lovers.” – Joel Barish

42. “Joely, don’t ever leave me.” – Clementine Kruczynski

43. “Our files are confidential Mr. Barish so we can’t show you any evidence. Suffice it to say, Miss Kruczynski was not happy and she wanted to move on. We provide that possibility.” – Dr. Howard Mierzwiak

44. “What can I say, Joel? You know Clementine. She’s like that. She’s—impulsive. She decided to erase you almost as a lark.” – Carrie

45. “My name is Clementine Kruczynski. I’m here to erase Joel Barish. He’s boring. Is that enough reason to erase someone?” – Clementine Kruczynski

46. “It’s not about us, it’s about Joel, who’s an adult, okay, not ‘Momma Carrie’s kid!'” – Rob

47. “He’s off the map. He’s off the map!” – Stan

48. “I think if there’s this truly seductive quality about Clementine, it’s that her personality promises to take you out of the mundane. It’s like an amazing, burning meteorite that will carry you to another world where things are exciting.” – Joel Barish

49. Rob: “Yeah, man, who was that?”

Joel Barish: “She was—just a girl.”

50. “This—this is—yeah, this is about what it should look like.” – Dr. Howard Mierzwiak

51. “Really? There’s a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.” – Joel Barish

52. “You look familiar. Ever shop at Barnes & Noble?” – Clementine Kruczynski

53. “I love being bathed in the sink; such a feeling of security.” – Joel Barish

54. “We are David and Ruth Laskin. Which one do you want to be? I prefer to be Ruth, but I’m flexible.” – Clementine Kruczynski

55. Mrs. Mierzwiak: “Don’t be a monster, Howard. Tell the girl.”

Mary Svevo: “Tell me what?”

56. “I do sorta live with someone though.” – Joel Barish

57. Clementine Kruczynski: “What do we do?”

Joel Barish: “Enjoy it.”

58. “We’ll use these items to create a map of Clementine in your brain, okay? So we’ll need photos, clothing, gifts, books she may have bought you, CDs you may have bought together.” – Dr. Howard Mierzwiak

59. Clementine Kruczynski: “Male or female?”

Joel Barish: Female—female.

60. “Random thoughts for Valentine’s Day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.” – Joel Barish

61. “I’m sorry—I just, my life isn’t that interesting.” – Joel Barish

62. “I’m just a freaked up girl looking for my own peace of mind, I’m not perfect.” – Clementine Kruczynski

63. “I want to read some of those journals you’re constantly scribbling in. What do you write in there if you don’t have any thoughts or passions or—love?” – Clementine Kruczynski

64. “This is it, Joel. It’s going to be gone soon.” – Clementine Kruczynski

65. “My embarrassing admission is I really like that you’re nice, right now.” – Clementine Kruczynski

66. “Clementine Kruczynski: “You know me, I’m impulsive.”

Joel Barish: “That’s what I love about you.”

67. “I came back downstairs, and you were gone.” – Clementine Kruczynski

68. “I dislike myself when I’m with him. I don’t like myself anymore.” – Clementine Kruczynski

69. “What if you stayed this time?” – Clementine Kruczynski

70. “I thought maybe you were a nut. But, you were exciting.” – Clementine Kruczynski

71. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? What Howard gives to the world? To let people begin again. It’s beautiful. You look at a baby and it’s so pure and so free, and so clean, and adults are like this mess of sadness and phobias, and Howard just makes it all go away.” – Mary Svevo

72. “I don’t know, I felt like a scared little kid. It was above my head; I don’t know.” – Joel Barish

73. “You had the whole human race pegged.” – Joel Barish

74. “I ditched work today. Took a train out to Montauk. I don’t know why, I’m not an impulsive person.” – Joel Barish

75. “That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.” – Clementine Kruczynski

76. “I don’t know! I don’t know! I’m lost! I’m scared! I feel like I’m disappearing! My skin’s coming off! I’m getting old! Nothing makes any sense to me! Nothing makes any sense!” – Clementine Kruczynski

77. “I wanted to understand as much as I could about the procedure as possible.” – Mary Svevo

78. “That was beautiful to watch, Howard. Like a surgeon or a concert pianist.” – Mary Svevo

79. “I don’t know! I want you to wait for just a—a while.” – Joel Barish

80. “Now, the first thing we need you to do, Mr. Barish, is to go home and collect everything you own that has some association with Clementine. Anything.” – Dr. Howard Mierzwiak

81. “But you will! You will think of things, and I’ll get bored of you and feel trapped because that’s what happens with me!” – Clementine Kruczynski

82. “Joel, hide me in your humiliation!” – Clementine Kruczynski

83. “I don’t constantly talk! Jesus!” – Clementine Kruczynski

84. “Oh, you poor kid. You can have him. You did.” – Mrs. Mierzwiak

85. “I saw you talking to someone pretty!” – Carrie

86. “Do you really care right now?” – Clementine Kruczynski

87. “I’m Clementine. Can I—borrow a piece of your chicken?” – Clementine Kruczynski

88. “Maybe you can find yourself a nice antique rocking chair to die in.” – Clementine Kruczynski

89. “I was a little tipsy. Don’t call me pathetic.” – Clementine Kruczynski

90. Clementine Kruczynski: “What are you, nuts?”

Joel Barish: “It’s been suggested.”

91. “You don’t tell me things, Joel. I’m an open book. I tell you everything, every dang, embarrassing thing.” – Clementine Kruczynski

92. “Hi. Didn’t figure you’d show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were—humiliated. You did run away, after all.” – Clementine Kruczynski

93. “Look, I’m sorry if I came off a little nutso, I’m not really.” – Clementine Kruczynski

94. “I apply my personality in a paste.” – Clementine Kruczynski

95. “Drink up, young man. It’ll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.” – Clementine Kruczynski

96. “I’m a vindictive little b*tch, truth be told.” – Clementine Kruczynski

97. “You’re driving drunk. It’s pathetic.” – Joel Barish

98. “At least I’m not barking up the wrong tree!” – Clementine Kruczynski

99. “You’re really nice—God, I have to stop saying that!” – Clementine Kruczynski

100. “Mary hates me. I’ve never been popular with the ladies.” – Patrick Wertz

101. “I’m gonna marry you—I know it!” – Clementine Kruczynski

102. “He could wake up all half-baked and, gooey and, and half-baked—mmm, that sounds so good. I’m hungry.” – Mary

103. “I’m not really sure what you’re asking.” – Joel Barish

104. “No! Now! Now! I have to go see the frozen Charles now!” – Clementine Kruczynski

105. “Maybe if you stopped stealing their panties.” – Stan

106. “I’m f*ck*ng crawling out of my skin. I should’ve left you at the flea market.” – Clementine Kruczynski

107. “My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.” – Clementine Kruczynski

108. “Pages ripped out. Don’t remember doing that. It appears this is my first entry in two years.” – Joel Barish

109. “This is working like gangbusters.” – Joel Barish

110. “I had a really nice time last night. I had the best f*ck*ng night of my entire f*ck*ng life, last night!” – Joel Barish

111. “Yeah, you said, ‘So go.’ With such disdain, you know?” – Joel Barish

112. Clementine Kruczynski: “Bye, Joel.”

Joel Barish: “I love you.”

113. “I’d like to, um—take you out, or something.” – Joel Barish

114. “I still thought you were gonna save my life—even after that.” – Joel Barish

115. “Nietzsche. Beyond Good and Evil. Found it in my Bartlett’s.” – Mary Svevo

116. “You said, ‘I do.’ I guess that means we’re married!” – Clementine Kruczynski

117. “No, see Clem. I assume you f*ck*d someone tonight. Isn’t that how you get people to like you?” – Joel Barish

118. “And the whole thing with the hair—it’s all bullshit.” – Joel Barish

119. “No jokes about my name. No, you wouldn’t do that. You were trying to be nice.” – Clementine Kruczynski

120. “It’s g*dd*mn freezing on this beach. Montauk in February, brilliant, Joel.” – Joel Barish

121. “Is this how it looks?” – Joel Barish

122. “Come out onto the ice!” – Clementine Kruczynski

123. “Aw, that’s—very sweet, but try.” – Clementine Kruczynski

124. “Meet me—in Montauk.” – Clementine Kruczynski

125. “Can it cause brain damage?” – Joel Barish

126. “You’re not a stalker, or anything, right?” – Clementine Kruczynski

127. “She was nice. Nice is good.” – Joel Barish

128. ​​”Would you erase me?” – Charlie Kaufman, Author

129. “You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story.” – Charlie Kaufman, Author


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