Let’s get started.

And don’t forget to check out these and .

1. “That Frank, he lives inside of his own heart. That’s an awful big place to live in. You take good care of that boy.” – Karl Childers

2. “I don’t reckon I got any reason to kill anybody.” – Karl Childers 

3. “I stand on the hill, not for a thrill, but for the breath of a fresh kill.” – Morris 

4. “I ain’t saying it’s right; I’m just telling the damn truth. He’ll make me sick. I know it.”– Doyle Hargraves

5. “Doesn’t matter where I was to be. We’ll always be friends. You and me made friends right off the bat. Don’t nobody ever change that. I kindly want to put my arm around you, then I’m gonna get up out of here and leave.” – Karl Childers

6. “You ought not killed my little brother. He should’ve had a chance to grow up. He would had fun some time.” – Karl Childers 

7. “Everything’s botherin’ me. I’m hurtin’ Linda. I love you.” – Doyle Hargraves

8. “Your buddy Karl here is going. We can’t be no normal family with him living in the garage and comin’ in the damn bedroom at 4:00 in the morning, carryin’ hammers and sh*t.” – Doyle Hargraves

9. “I don’t reckon you have to go with women to be a good father to a boy. You been real  square-dealin’ with me.” – Karl Childers 

10. “There was a boy. We made friends.” – Karl Childers 

11. “The Bible says two men ought not lay together. But I don’t reckon the Good Lord would send anybody like you to Hades.” – Karl Childers 

12. “Some folks call it a sling blade. I call it a Kaiser blade.”– Karl Childers

13. “I studied about it. The Bible says you ought not to. It says if you do that, you go off to Hades. Some folks call it Hell, I call it Hades.”– Karl Childers

14. “You can kiss my *ss. If you ever hit me again, you little b*st*rd, I swear to God I’ll make you sorry your daddy ever squirted your *ss out. You hear me?” – Doyle Hargraves

15. “Ever think of killing yourself on purpose like my daddy done?” – Frank Wheatley

16. “I wanna be baptized.” – Karl Childers

17. “Took me four years to read the Bible. I reckon I understand a great deal of it. Wasn’t what I expected in some places. I slept in a good bed for a great long while. Now they’ve seen fit to put me out of here. They say they’re setting me free today.” – Karl Childers

18. “Yeah, it’s pretty loud. Looky there. I believe you right. I believe I see one right in there.” – Karl Childers

19. “Frank’s always after a father figure, and Doyle ain’t one with his mean *ss.” – Linda Wheatley

20. “Well, that didn’t seem right to me, so I went in the shed and got me a shoebox and emptied out all the washers and nuts and screws and whatnot that were in it, and I takened the little fella and put him inside the box and buried him right there in a corner of the yard. That seemed more proper to me, I reckon.” – Karl Childers

21. “How come her still being girlfriends and all with him if he’s mean to her?” – Karl Childers

22. “I hate you, you little prick!”– Doyle Hargraves

23. “I never used no hatchet that I remember.”– Karl Childers

24. “I like gravy on my fries.”– Karl Childers 

25. “Well, that’s a very offensive way to put it. You shouldn’t say that, Karl.” – Vaughan Cunningham

26. “Reckon what you is wanting to know is what I’m a-doing in here. Reckon the reason I’m in here is cause I’ve killed somebody.” – Karl Childers

27. “Do you have any of them French fried potaters?” – Karl Childers

28. “I don’t rightly know. I just kinda woke upholding it.” – Karl Childers 29. “When you been drinking as long as me, Vaughan, you build up a tolerance. Here.” – Doyle Hargraves

30. “I told you three times already. The law’s on my side! I play cards with J.D. Shelnut, chief of police! So kiss my *ss, you old b*st*rd!” – Doyle Hargraves

31. “Don’t you say another word about that boy. Facto business, don’t you say another word to me. I ain’t listening to you no more.” – Karl Childers

32. “You ought not talk that way. You just a boy.” – Karl Childers

33. “I don’t think anything bad ought to happen to children. I think the bad stuff should be saved up for the people whose grown-up. That’s the way I see it.” – Karl Childers

34. “That ain’t none of your damn business; besides, that’s the way friends do one another. F*ck it. I’m calling them up.” – Doyle Hargraves

35. “I’m just going to say it. I’m gay. Does that surprise you that I’m gay? You know what gay is, don’t you?” – Vaughan Cunningham

36. “You’re not crippled, get in there and make it yourself.” – Linda Wheatley

37. “This is not your house, Doyle. This is my house, and I decide who goes and who stays. You got a house, why don’t you get some of your girlfriends and go home to it?” – Linda Wheatley

38. “This ain’t right, Doyle. There is something wrong with you.” – Monty Johnson

39. “I remember well. He cut those folks to pieces, and his Mama was one of them. And that old Dixon boy. Oh hell, I always wanted to kill him myself. *ssh*l* is what he was.” – Bill Cox

40. “Karl, who’d you kill? Was it the boy?” – Charles Bushman

41. “I love you, boy.” – Karl Childers

42. “Listen, everyone, I’ve had a few glasses of wine, and that tends to make me emotional. It came over me in a rush. I just want you to know that I care about each and every person at this table.” – Vaughan Cunningham

43. “Just ’cause I ain’t gonna be around no more, maybe, don’t mean that I don’t care for you.” – Karl Childers

44. “Believe in the Bible, do ya Karl?” – Doyle Hargraves

45.  “Doyle, you’re awful. You shouldn’t be that way.” – Linda Wheatley

46. “I know Albert. We’re friends.” – Vaughan Cunningham

47. “He’s real honest. He wouldn’t steal nothing.” – Frank Wheatley

48. “Exactly the point, my young level-headed friend.” – Morris

49. “I like to do all the talking. That’s why I think I’m so fond of you, ’cause you just so easygoing, you know.” – Charles Bushman

50. “I care ’bout you too, but you’ll be around. Don’t say that.” – Frank Wheatley

51. “So you’re just crazy in a r*t*rd kind of way, huh? Wouldn’t matter to me if you did do violence on someone. I ain’t scared of sh*t. You’re just a humped-over r*t*rd, seems to me. I’m just kiddin’. Welcome to our humble home, Buddy.” – Doyle Hargraves

52. “See, you don’t want to question the genius, Vaughan. Morris here is a modern-day poet, kinda like in olden times.” – Doyle Hargraves

53. “Coffee makes me nervous when I drink it.”– Karl Childers 

54. “You gotta make something explode to really understand it. You gotta examine all those tiny particles while they’re still on fire.” – Charles Bushman

55. “Well, when you like pricing items as much as I do, it’s just bound to happen sooner or later, I guess.” – Linda Wheatley

56. “You ever have any brothers or sisters growing up?” – Frank Wheatley

57. “I reckon I’m gonna have to get used to looking at pretty people. Reckon I’m gonna have to get used to them looking at me.” – Karl Childers

58. “You always seem to be deep in thought. Tell me, what are you thinking right now?” – Vaughan Cunningham

59. “I’m gonna call up Morris and get the band together. We’re gonna have a party. Party our *sses off. I’d love to show them that, Karl. They’d get a real kick out of him. Please don’t tell anybody at the store that Albert was here. You know how this town is.  Everybody spreads cruel rumors.” – Doyle Hargraves

60. “Hi, Karl, I’m on my lunch break. I got you these flowers that were on sale cause they’re not fresh. $2.99, plus by 10% employee discount, since I didn’t bring you anything on our date last night. Well, I just thought I’d bring them to you. I enjoyed walking with you. I got a blister the size of a quarter on my heel. Well, see you some time, I guess.” – Linda Wheatley

61. “Now, I can’t say she enjoyed her stay, but that washcloth I put in her mouth and held it there with a big piece of duct tape kept all her complaining to a min. I don’t like people who talk all the time.” – Charles Bushman

62. “I pulled the Mercury up right alongside her and rolled down the window, see, by electric power. She had on a leather skirt and had a lot of hair on her arms. I like that a lot. That means a big bush. I like a big bush.” – Charles Bushman

63. “I’ve killed Doyle Hargraves with a lawnmower blade. Yes, I’m right sure of it. I hit him two good whacks in the head with it. That second one just plumb near cut his head in two.” – Karl Childers  

64. “A shovel just makes too much-g*dd*mn*d racket.” – Charles Bushman

65. “Mama’s got a boyfriend now. His name is Doyle Hargraves. He works construction, so he makes a pretty good living, but he don’t help Mama out with any money though. He ain’t no good. He’s mean to her. He don’t like me at all.” – Frank Wheatley

66. “I’m sure you’ve met some like him, who did not deserve what he had, and what he had was a beautiful young bride named Sarah. She was a Georgia peach. In fact, she was the picture I had in my mind of the perfect woman, so I took it upon myself to take her away from John Leggit Hunter, who did not deserve her. Oh, I don’t know if I mentioned this, but he was a Frenchman who claimed to be an Englishman. It took a lot of strong nylon cord to get her away from him because she was a fighter as well as being a Georgia peach.” – Charles Bushman

67. “I don’t like potted meat. Daddy used to say they was made out of lips, peckers, and intestines.” – Frank Wheatley

68. “Well, there were these two old boys, and they hung their peckers off a bridge to piss—one old boy from California, the other from Arkansas. The old boy from California says the water’s cold, and the old boy from Arkansas says it’s deep too. Get it?” – Bill Cox

69. “I didn’t know how to care for no . My mother and father didn’t want him, and they learned me to do what they told me. These days I reckon it’s better to give him back to the Good Lord anyhow.” – Karl Childers

70. “You mean about you and Albert being that way? I think everybody at the store already knows about it. Maureen Ledbetter told the most awful story about why you ain’t allowed at the First Baptist Church no more.” – Linda Wheatley

71. “I’ll whip the d*gsh*t out of you, Vaughan. I will f*ck*ng kill you if you talk to me again! Now all of ya, get the f*ck out now before I get too mad to turn back!” – Doyle Hargraves

72. “Hey! I said, get out of my house! That goes for cocksuckers and r*t*rds!” – Doyle Hargraves

73. “I told you I ain’t got no boy, now why don’t you get on outta here and let me be. You ain’t no kin to me.” – Frank Wheatley

74. “You’re not staying here tonight. Go get sober before you come back; I’m tired of my child seeing this. Now you get your *ss straight, or I’ll lock your *ss out of my life for good.” – Linda Wheatley

75. “I’d like to kill that s*n-*f-*-b*tch. I hate him.” – Frank Wheatley

76. “I aim to kill you with it.” – Karl Childers

77. “Not funny ha-ha, funny queer.” – Karl Childers 

78. “I reckon that didn’t quite satisfy me, so I hit him again with it in the neck with the sharp edge and just plumb near cut his head off. Killed’im.”– Karl Childers

79.“If you even think about leaving me, Linda, I told you, I’m gonna kill you deader than a doornail.” – Doyle Hargraves

80. “Nobody wants to take this sh*t, man!” – Monty Johnson

81. “Quite a spell, I reckon.”– Karl Childers

82. “Mustard is good on ’em to me.” – Karl Childers

83. “Will you ever kill anyone again, Karl?” – Marsha Dwiggins

84. “Blisters sure can hurt.” – Karl Childers

85. “That is ridiculous. That is just a total lie.” – Vaughan Cunningham

86. “I don’t mean to be so ‘*ssh*l*sh,’ I guess is a good word for it.” – Doyle Hargraves

87. “Oh yeah. That sounds like a number one hit tune.” – Doyle Hargraves

88. “We don’t got no g*dd*mn band! We don’t need to f*ck*ng practice, Randy! We don’t need a sh*t-*ss manager either! You m*th*rf*ck*rs! Y’all is a bunch of losers! I’m the only one sane son of a b*tch here! Just get the f*ck out of my house now!” – Doyle Hargraves

89. “Talkin’ back and everything. That kinda makes me h*rn*, Linda.” – Doyle Hargraves

90. “To call the police, you push 911 then just tell ’em to bring an ambulance, or a ‘hearst’ if you’re gonna kill me.” – Doyle Hargraves

91. “Linda, go get my guitar. It’s out there with that looney toon.” – Doyle Hargraves

92. “You ain’t gotta do nothing, Linda. Just put some chips in a bowl and run ice out to us when we look low.” – Doyle Hargraves

93. “If y’all don’t shut up, I’m gonna go out of my mind. Besides, Karl here is liable to bust his spring. He’s already off balance.” – Doyle Hargraves

94. “Hey, is this the kind of r*t*rd that drools and rubs sh*t in his hair and all that, ’cause I’m gonna have a hard time eatin’ ’round that kind of thing now. Just like I am with antique furniture and midgets. You know that I can’t so much as drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture.” – Doyle Hargraves

95. “Not that you two afflicted s*mb*tch*s know anything about this, but you’re sitting in a crew cab dually pickup. In some circles, this is considered a piece of automotive art.” – Doyle Hargraves

96. “I don’t like homosexuals, and she goes out and buddies up with one, so I gotta deal with that. I don’t like little wimpy-*ss kids or mental r*t*rds, and she got one of each livin’ with her.” – Doyle Hargraves

97. “Well, I can’t understand none of it. This one begat that one and that one begat this one, and lo and behold someone says some sh*t to someone else; just how r*t*rd*d are you?” – Doyle Hargraves

98. “What am I supposed to do about supper while you’re out runnin’ around with that fag?” – Doyle Hargraves

99. “Frankie, I wasn’t talking to you, now was I? I was talking to your Mama. It’s her decision, not yours. If I let it go on, it’s because she said so, not you.” – Doyle Hargraves

100. “Hey Vaughan, I heard you been putting it on ol’ Albert Sellers who works over at the  funeral home.”  – Doyle Hargraves

101. “I learned to read some. I read the Bible quite a bit. I can’t understand all of it, but I reckon I understand a good deal of it.” – Karl Childers

102. “They turned me loose from the nervous hospital. ‘Said I was well. I got hired on by a Mr. Bill Cox fixing lawnmowers and whatnot. That grass out there in the yard has grown up quite a bit. I reckon I might cut it for you.” – Karl Childers

103. “I had one there for a little while. But, it didn’t get old enough for me to play with it.” – Karl Childers

104. “I was thinkin’; I’m gonna take me some of these taters home with me.” – Karl Childers

105. “Hmm. I used to come out, one or the other of ’em. Usually, my feed me pretty regular. I know he made enough where I could have mustard and biscuits three or four times a week.” – Karl Childers

106. “You done fixed it? Well, I’ll be damned. Scooter told me it couldn’t be fixed. ‘Course Scooter is about as shiftless as one poor son of a b*tch can be. You done fixed it. I’ll just be damned.” – Bill Cox

107. “The dots are where I say they are. Melody and tune, that’s your trade, Terence. You’re a tunesmith.” – Morris

108. “Karl, see if you can figure out what’s wrong with this. It won’t crank up, and everything seems to be put together right.” – Bill Cox

109. “Although I do sense a little tension in you from time to time. So, you were out in the world, huh? What was it like?” – Charles Bushman


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